OT: Apology to China

Tannin

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(Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies".)



THE BEVERLY HILLS BOBBITS

Come listen to a story 'bout a man named John,
A poor ex-marine with his little wanker gone.
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.

Penis, that is.
Clean cut.
Missed his nuts.

Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
Tossed him out the window as she went around a bend.

Curve, that is.
Tossed the nub.
In the shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
They called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.

Found, that is.
By a fence.
Evidence.

Now peter and John couldn't stay apart for long,
So a dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix that dong!"
"A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need"
And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny pee'd.

Whizzed, that is.
Straight stream.
Even seam.

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court,
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.

Video, that is.
Unexposed.
Case Closed.

Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?????
 

Tannin

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Good Lord, no, Koggit. I just found it on a web site that I have no intention of mentioning on this family-oriented forum. Or anyplace else, for that matter.

I did actually ponder if I ought to post it here. It seems to be stretching the limits a little. But then I thought - oh, what the hell. We have moderators. If they feel it's going too far then they can delete it and I won't object. I guess under most circumstances I wouldn't post such a thing. But it made me laugh so hard that I gave in to temptation.

(Sorry Flagreen, it wasn't fair of me to duck responsibility like that. I think it was actually being able to hear the tune in my head as I read it that pushed me beyond the bounds of sensibility and into that other place known as hilarity.)
 

Mercutio

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I don't see a problem with anything there.
What "family" is here besides Flagreen and Koggit? Koggit probably hears worse every day when he turns on his CD player anyway, or if not him, the people he goes to school with.


By the way, when's Kristi going to show up?!? SF needs the tempering influence of a (human) female. Then Tannin wouldn't be giving in to all his temptations and I wouldn't have to take up my sworn duty to protect SF from foul-mouthed Aussies. :)
 

Tea

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Well, she did want to ask you guys more questions about buying a VCR. Tannin was about to write in her questions for her in the VCR thread when he said that she ought to ask them herself. She agreed, but said "not right now".

I think she is weakening. :)

PS: I discovered her at lunchtime today, sitting at Tannin's 21 inch monitor and reading a Storage Forum thread of her own choice. So far, so good, I thought. But why on earth did she choose "The Giver Revealled" thread? I guess that there is no accounting for tastes.
 

Groltz

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So did Mercutio and CougTek pony up the money to buy a hitman to grease PW? Awful quiet here without his over abundant hyper-optimism.
 

CougTek

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Groltz said:
So did Mercutio and CougTek pony up the money to buy a hitman to grease PW? Awful quiet here without his over abundant hyper-optimism.
Why pay someone else to do something I would enjoy so much doing by myself? Besides, when you want something to be done right, you have to do it yourself. Everyone knows that. :p

Seriously, you are right Steve. It's not the same forum without our PW screaming "kick me" all over the place. My sub-conscious must miss him.
 

Tea

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By the way, I'd just like to announce that Tannin and I have come to a new arrangement. From now on, so as to avoid those messy disagreements that you guys may have noticed, and also because we have run out of entire plates to throw that haven't been glued back together three times already and saucepans hurt, Tannin and I have decided that he will make all the major decisions and I won't argue, and I will make all the minor decisions and he won't argue.

We have been trialing this new arrangement for several weeks now and it works perfectly. We have not had one single argument!
 

Tannin

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Tea is right. Not one single argument! Amazing how well this system works, actually. And isn't it a funny coincidence that, ever since we switched to it, we don't seem to have made any major decisions either!
 

Mercutio

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I'm horribly depressed. Tannin's busy. Cougtek has connectivity issues. Flagreen seems to have disappeared for some reason. timwhit's about to go back to school. Cliptin is working again.

A number of folks who normally contribute a great deal to the post count here seem to be bothered by that thing called "real life" right now.
 

timwhit

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Mercutio said:
I'm horribly depressed. Tannin's busy. Cougtek has connectivity issues. Flagreen seems to have disappeared for some reason. timwhit's about to go back to school. Cliptin is working again.

A number of folks who normally contribute a great deal to the post count here seem to be bothered by that thing called "real life" right now.

Actually it seems that after I go back to school I have more time to spend on the internet, because my friends have to do homework during the week for some reason. But, I just sit in front of the computer for hours on end. Plus, I have been working 40 hours a week this summer which sucks. I hate work, I think I might become a ski bum after graduation. Or get a job that doesn't involve sitting behind a desk in a dark office all day.
 

timwhit

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Being an electrician sounds good to me. Union wage is $36/hour, doesn't sound too bad to me. Plus Chicago is the biggest union city in the country, it's hard to hire someone who isn't part of a union.
 

Mercutio

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Should've started awhile ago for that one. Although I've heard that electricians with the training to do fiber-optic installations make unbelievable amounts of money.

Plumbing is an even better racket.
 

P5-133XL

Xmas '97
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Mercutio said:
I would like to know when he's going to apoloized for being born and everything else he's done wrong.

Are you talking about Bush or Hu Jintao?

Way to go in resurrecting an old thread.
 
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