OT to timwhit: How sad! Pasta, with its hundreds of shapes and thousands of sauces and accompaniments, is one of the world's major culinary inventions.
It is inconceivable to me that at this point in your life you have never experienced at least one good plate of pasta.
Are you familiar with the term "al dente"? It means "firm to the teeth". If restaurant pasta has not met this test, return it. If home pasta has not met this test, learn how to cook.
Of course, the sauce is important. Sauces should be prepared with fresh meat, fish, seafood or vegetables---whatever turns you on. They should not be overcooked and meat should be removed before it drops off the bone. A most pleasureable experience is to suck the juices out of the bones of beef or pork spareribs that have been used to prepare a sauce.
Pasta is a wonderful variant to potatoes, rice and bread. I think you need to broaden your cullinary experience.
Joe