I am not smart enough to call Australia

[Mercutio]

I know of no other way to explain it.

I thought I might, just to do something different, ring RedHill in the middle of its business day, which happens at about 11PM according to the clock on my wall.

So I dialed the number using the instructions I found on dataandtime.com. Didn't work. "Your call could not be completed", taunted the recording. Not even an Aussie recording at that.

Hm. Looked a few more places, got the same instructions.

Tried again.
And again.
And again.

[pretend I wrote that about 30 more times. By the end I was literally writing combinations on a piece of paper and crossing them off the list as I dialled.]

I have to conclude that I am not intelligent enough to make an international phone call.

 

[Buck]

It isn't always easy making international calls. For Redhill, call:

011 61 3 53 329 486

 

[flagreen]

Think positive! Maybe this is actually case of the glass if half full not half empty. I mean why not look at this way - Your telephone was smart enough not to call Australia.

 

[Mercutio]

It isn't always easy making international calls. For Redhill, call:

011 61 3 53 329 486

I tried that one. It didn't work.

 

[Buck]

Sorry Merc, that is all I know.

011 is to leave the U.S.A

61 is to enter Australia

3 is to enter Victoria (area code)

53 329 486 is the shop number

Maybe the Redhill gang doesn't really exist?

 

[Mercutio]

Tannin says it does.
Howell said couldn't get it to work either.

BTW, if someone wants to test this theory and bother Tannin by phone, I know that the flat rate for calls to Oz by 10-10-629 is $.09 a minute (no fee or subscription charge), which is EXTREMELY cheap.

 

[Buck]

Without using 10-10 plan, I dialed and got through. It just rang, no one picked up.

 

[Buck]

They're closed right now anyway, it is Saturday.

 

[timwhit]

International calls are a pain in the ass. When my friend was in France last year it sometimes took me 20 minutes before I could get the phone to ring. That is with a calling card too. And calling cell phones overseas is horribly expensive. Even if land line calls are cheap, calling a cell phone is very expensive.

 

[Mercutio]

Plus Redhill is only open to customers for 5 hours a day. I guess the rest of the day is service time?

I have Tannin's home number too. Except I'll bet he's still asleep. Lazy so-and-so. Sleeping in the middle of the night like that. It's downright inconsiderate.

 

[Buck]

Middle of the night? It's almost 8:00am in Victoria. Rise and shine boys and girls!

 

[Mercutio]

Where DOES my day go? I thought it was still mid-afternoon here.

 

[Tea]

OK, now we are even. I dialed 0011 (international call prefix) 1 (USA) 219 (area code) xxx xxxx and it doesn't work.

Bloody telephone companies. There is nothing harder for an intelligent ape than trying to figure out a system designed for morons.

 

[Buck]

Why did you dial all of those x'es?

 

[Tea]

Actually, they were a little hard to find - my stupid phone only has number keys, and not even laid out the proper way (QWERTY). Should I use the # key to mean "X"? Or possibly to indicate 7 digits

 

[Tea]

Is a 3 digit area code and a 7-digit number right for the USA?

 

[Buck]

Is a 3 digit area code and a 7-digit number right for the USA?

Yes.

 

[Tea]

OK! We have ... er ... ringing sounds .... more ringing sounds .... and a delightfully accented "no one home" message from Horizon Wireless - with a rolled "R" and Irishman would be proud of.

I guess the man is at work. Hapens to the best of us sometimes.

Bird picture time!

 

[Mercutio]

Dammit Tea!

I was just cooking dinner. You probably called while I was out messing around with my grill.

My cell phone number, for anyone who might actually care, is 219-PH1-UKSC. Sometimes I even answer it.

 

[Handruin]

Seems like you figured out how to call across the country...I was going to suggest to dial "0" and see if anyone could help.

 

[Tea]

Help? Since the phone service was privatised? ("Privatised": this is what you call it when our well-paid leaders sell something that we owned off at a very cheap price to their corporate mates, who then help themselves to massive amounts of our money.)

Help? Not a chance, Doug.

Dial Telstra. They tell you to bugger off because I am "not a Telstra customer". (I only spend abut $1500 with Telstra.)

Dial Primus. Wait. A machine answers. Buggerise around waiting to learn what number you are supposed to press. Press it. Wait. Wait some more. Finally it answers: another machine. Recorded announcement: "Go away: it's Saturday. You can't make phone calls on Saturday."

Yeah. Private enterprise.

Ain't it wonderful.

 

[Buck]

I don't know, Tea is starting to sound more and more like Tannin.

 

[Tea]

sorry

 

[Mercutio]

6:35PM Eastern Oz Standard Time = 3:35AM Central US Daylight Time.
Just a helpful reminder for any future trans-pacific calls.

That was, to be honest, a great deal of fun. Except for the part where I still don't know how to call back.

I'll have to figure that out.

It's quite enjoyable to be able to associate a voice with a nick after all this time. Even if Tea didn't get a chance to talk.

Yes, I do believe that made my day.

 

[Tea]

Can we retitle the thread please? It needs to be I'm not smart enough to figure out what time it is in America.

Sorry Merc!

I managed to dial the number OK this time, and Mercutio managed to answer the phone OK this time, but then I realised what time it was in America and ..... well ....

(Then you clammed up and left me holding the phone?)

(Yes, Tannin.)

(And made me do all the talking?)

(Yes, Tannin. Sorry about that. You see I made a sudden decision that Mercutio wasn't quite ready to have a conversation with an imaginary Australian ape at that particular time of night.)

(You mean you came over all shy.)

(Err.... Yes.)

(Hmmm... Well, it's OK, I guess. Merc didn't seem to mind too much. And it was great to put a voice to the person.)

(Pity about the cell phone dropouts.)

(Errr .... we seem to have been pre-empted, small one. Mercuto has posted already, I see.)

(No fair! No fair! He probably uses all ten fingers to type!)

(Yes. He I think he took lessons. And he probably took lessons about what it means when the big hand is pointing to the 7 and the little hand is pointing to the 6, too.)

(OK, OK, I know I messed up. Next time, you figure out what time it is, and I will do the talking, OK?)

(OK.)

 

[Mercutio]

That's alright now. I'm just not ready to go back to bed yet. Hence the posting. Mostly on-topic stuff, too.

And speaking of unfair advantages, Tea could be typing with feet, too.

As far as cell dropouts, I can only apologize and assure you that Verizon offers uniformly poor service to everyone. I fully imagine the minute-long pauses between the resumption of conversation were spent dialing whatever arcane 30-digit combination it takes to make Aussie phones speak to American ones.

 

[Tannin]

Actually, once you figure it out, it's easy enough: 00111 then the area code and the local number. For example, 00111 987 654 3210. I'm surprised Tea took so long to discover that. (She's a bit thick sometimes.)

Anyway, it was great to great to talk with Merc. I had a pretty clear idea of what his voice sounded like - which was completely and utterly wrong, of course.

I thought your voice was supposed to be frenetic and squeaky, Merc!

(Note to self: remember to dig out the "what do we all look like" thread and nail the fib.)

Anyway, it was fun. We must do it again. Better yet, do it with an old-fashioned cable-into-the-wall sort of telephone, so I can hear all of the conversation properly, instead of only three words out of four.

 

[Mercutio]

My voice is probably a bit higher than it probably sounded. We're always gravelly when we wake up and I've been having a wonderful time with sinuses lately anyway. I also tend to deepen it while I teach. Helps with projection.

I am however, neither frenetic nor squeaky.

Tannin sounds nothing at all like Paul Hogan. Not that I thought he would. But since he's the only Aussie I can think of I figurred I'd throw that bit in there.

 

[Howell]

Howell said couldn't get it to work either.

Well, since the cat is out: about six or seven months ago Buck was harrassing Tannin about not selling to the US. I thought it would be pretty funny to discuise my voice and try to place an order and then have it sent to TN.

Unfortunately, though I tried calling literally multiple times every other day for a month and between 2 and 4 Redhill time, the only message I ever received was "All circuits are busy." I should've complained to James about it but then the jig would be up.

 

[Howell]

My voice is probably a bit higher than it probably sounded.

Well, you sure don't sound like you described yourself even mid-day.
PS. It took me a couple tries before my cell phone VM message did not have a voice crack in it.

 

[Mercutio]

Sinuses. Or maybe it's my phone.

 

[jtr1962]

Tannin sounds nothing at all like Paul Hogan. Not that I thought he would. But since he's the only Aussie I can think of I figurred I'd throw that bit in there.

For the longest time I visualized Tannin looking like Paul Hogan as well as sounding like him. I even visualized him paraphrasing the famous line in Crocodile Dundee. It went something like this:

I post one of my 2 or 3 page pathetic attempts to imitate Tannin or SR or SF. He comes right back with a carefully researched, 5000 word monster while nonchalantly speaking in Paul Hogan's voice:"You call that a post? Now this is a post!

 

[Mercutio]

Yes. He's like that. Especially if you get him into discussions of history or politics.

On the other hand, I note that he hasn't exactly chimed on the Redhill thread in the computers forum. I forgot to bring it up on the telephone.

 

[Tannin]

What thread?