How do people meet people?

[Mercutio]

No heat in my office today. Typing with gloves on is fun and not as hard as I expected.

bg: I've asked several times if I should continue writing her. She always says that I should. If she said no I would certainly obey that wish as well.
As for setting my feelings aside, I really don't know how. I've tried to hate her and I've tried to not care and neither emotion sits right with me.
Given the choice between feeling love for someone, and feeling no love at all, however, well, I'll take the former. The romantic notion that doesn't conform to reality is infinitely better than a void that cannot sustain me at all.

 

[bahngeist]

...I can imagine that it would be hard to meet someone when the population of Alaska is something like 75% male and 25% female. Reminds me of grad school.

I imagine is depends on what part of Alaska you are in; and in reference to grad schools, what your major is.

Juneau, being the state capital, quite likely has a larger ratio of women than men. I have been told by a fair number of people that they know of women who left Juneau because they couldn’t find a decent man -- but that is neither here nor there.

What makes it ‘interesting’ is that I am a faculty member at the local university, and there are a significantly greater proportion of women in the student body. At work I am therefore surrounded by a large number of attractive and intelligent women; but faculty members naturally risk dismissal if they develop a relationship with a student. That, and the fact that I am also old enough to be the father of many of these women, makes what would normally be a rather pleasant situation (understatement) somewhat tortuous and depressing :-?

In fact, my work environment was driving me absolutely nuts. I suspect this situation actually forced my hand in respect of approaching the lady I mentioned. Doing so actually helped to set my ex deeper back into my mind, definitely brightened my outlook, and seems to have been the spark of hope necessary to propel me out of my year+ long funk. And this is despite the fact that I am well aware that a relationship may not develop for a while yet, nor necessarily with the lady I mentioned.

 

[e_dawg]

[...] I am therefore surrounded by a large number of attractive and intelligent women; but faculty members naturally risk dismissal if they develop a relationship with a student. That, and the fact that I am also old enough to be the father of many of these women, makes what would normally be a rather pleasant situation (understatement) somewhat tortuous and depressing :-? [...] In fact, my work environment was driving me absolutely nuts.

Ah, yes. Forbidden fruit. I know the feeling being surrounded by beautiful young coeds, still radiant and, as jtr said, not yet made bitter by life. Ever find yourself applying the "n/2 + 7 rule" to see if you would still be in the "acceptable dating range"? I may have on occasion

And this is despite the fact that I am well aware that a relationship may not develop for a while yet, nor necessarily with the lady I mentioned.

Hey, you gotta try. It's infintely better than sitting on your ass and doing nothing at all.

P.S. That was a wonderful post you wrote. I have wanted to write something to inspire Merc for some time now, but couldn't find the words (or the content, for that matter). You did a great job.

 

[Howell]

bahngeist, you wrote what I wanted to say and included personal experience. Be bold. Forte!

Merc, I hope this doesn't depress you more, but the little things you continue to see from Amy may be her trying to make sure she is not the one to push you over the edge. Caring about your life as it were. Nobody wants to be responsible for a suicide.

 

[ddrueding]

Ever find yourself applying the "n/2 + 7 rule" to see if you would still be in the "acceptable dating range"? I may have on occasion

Er, this doesn't always apply...as it gets a touch illegal on the low end

 

[Santilli]

You can't imagine what I've been looking at lately. Playboy bunny material, Monday, and Tuesday, hanging around the basketball team I'm helping with.

One blonde is to die for...

s

 

[e_dawg]

Er, this doesn't always apply...as it gets a touch illegal on the low end

Personal experience, I see?

 

[ddrueding]

Er, this doesn't always apply...as it gets a touch illegal on the low end

Personal experience, I see?

Well, you know what they say...it's not illegal unless someone objects

But really, I ran the numbers for my GF and they stated that 17.5 would be OK.

 

[Santilli]

You can be amazed by the generosity of young women, on occasion :wink:

 

[bahngeist]

Ever find yourself applying the the "n/2 + 7 rule"

Up to now I never heard of that rule, but in a rough sense have applied it unknowingly. Following that general guideline my pursuing someone under 30 would be questionable. Is there an upper end rule also? To be honest, I wouldn’t have any problems becoming involved with a woman in her early 50s – I’ve known many older women who are in far better shape than others half their age.

In general, age really doesn’t matter as much past the higher mid-twenties mark. Funny enough, as I’ve gotten older it has become harder for me to tell if a young woman is 18 or 25 at times. To me they all look too young which subsequently brings out my paternalistic instincts -- the problem is that I still have a pulse :-?

Ah, yes. Forbidden fruit. I know the feeling being surrounded by beautiful young coeds, still radiant and, as jtr said, not yet made bitter by life...

Problem there though is that far too many of them have a highly inflated opinion of their self worth and/or seem to have been bitten by a particularly rabid form of feminism. Most get past that arrogance by their mid-twenties and become well-rounded people; unfortunately some don't, and they seem to be the ones who become professors who in turn infect their female students -- sort of a perpetual vicious circle.

 

[Fushigi]

Is there an upper end rule also?

Yes: Just apply the same rule to yourself: 2*(your age - 7) <= your mate's age.

 

[Howell]

Most get past that arrogance by their mid-twenties and become well-rounded people; unfortunately some don't, and they seem to be the ones who become professors who in turn infect their female students -- sort of a perpetual vicious circle.

Unfortunately, some ideologies follow this cycle more so than more healthy ones.

 

[i]