Air Accident

Tannin

Storage? I am Storage!
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Messages
4,448
Location
Huon Valley, Tasmania
Website
www.redhill.net.au
A small aircraft develops a major problem. There seems no doubt that it will crash. There are five passengers, but only four parachutes.

The first passenger says: "My name is Bob Dylan. I'm a singer and I have fans all over the world who would be hearbroken if I died. For the sake of my fans, I think I had better take one of the parachutes."

The others talk it over, and decide that, yes, Bob Dylan had better save himself. Dylan promises that he will write a song to make all the rest of them famous, picks up a parachute and jumps out.

The second passenger says: "My name is Bill Gates. I'm a rich, selfish bastard, but if you let me live, I promise to give my entire fortune to charity and make Windows open source. Also, I promise that I will spend the rest of my life answering the phone at the Microsoft help desk.

Despite Bill's rancid past, the other passengers decide that this is too good an opportunity to give up. They tell him to take his chute and jump.

The third passenger says: "To hell with all this discussion stuff, what we need is leadership! My name is George W Bush and I'm the President of the United States of America. I'm a very important man with serious work to do, and I have a loving wife and two beautiful children to think of. I am taking a parachute and I'm getting out of here.

He jumps out of the plane before anyone can stop him.

The last two passengers are the Pope and a ten-year-old girl.

"My dear", says the Pope, "I am an old man, full of sadness, with only a few years left to live. Most of my life is behind me, while you are young and full of hope. You go, my dear. I'll stay here on the plane and take my chances.

"There is no need for that, Holy Father." says the little girl. "We can both jump. On his way out, that last man picked up my schoolbag."
 

Platform

Learning Storage Performance
Joined
May 10, 2002
Messages
234
Location
Rack 294, Pos. 10
I've heard a few variations of this joke over the past 30+ years, one of which is a Boy Scout saying essentially that, "Don't worry, the last guy jumped out with my backpack." Then I faintly recall another variation where someone says, "Don't worry, the last guy jumped out with a seat cushion."



 

CougTek

Hairy Aussie
Joined
Jan 21, 2002
Messages
8,726
Location
Québec, Québec
I heard the boyscout version at least ten years ago. Too bad the little girl didn't have a second backpack for Bill Gates.
 

The Giver

Learning Storage Performance
Joined
Jan 28, 2002
Messages
264
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of
milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package of bacon. As she was unloading
her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her
watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

He said, "You must be single."

The woman, a bit startled but intrigued, looked at her four items on the
belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections she said,
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know
that?"

The drunk said, "Cause you're uglier'n shit."
 
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