Who's a Daddy? Who's a Daddy?

[Clocker]

Hey Guys-

Just wondering who amongst us are Dads? Are you thinking about it any time soon? Would you like to be a Dad someday? How has it changed your life? How has it stayed the same?

Lots of questions in MY head these days....

Clocker

P.S. No, I'm not looking for someone to be my Dad. :wink:

[Stereodude]

Apparently I'm the only one with an opinion.

Stereodude

[Mercutio]

The "No" option for me needs to be a lot more vehement: "I'm not a dad and other people shouldn't be either".

It's not a possibility for me in any case, for several reasons.

[CougTek]

P.S. No, I'm not looking for someone to be my Dad. :wink:
With the X-Ray photo of your head, you couldn't be my son for sure.

[flagreen]

What a bunch of slackers! Get busy and procreate! You don't know what you're missing. There is nothing more rewarding and fulfilling than parenthood. :D

[jtr1962]

Does having cats qualify you for fatherhood?

In any case, that's about as close to parenting as I care to come.

[Jake the Dog]

technically i'm not but ... i voted "Yes and happy about it". why? because i'm going to be very happy in about 5 weeks when we have our first baby is due :)

[Pradeep]

Congrats Jake! and I like your avatar. :D

[James]

Yeah, big congratulations Jake - and welcome, too. :)

[Jake the Dog]

thanks guys! my avatar is Jake my dog :)

[CougTek]

I hope your son will have the same nice white spot that you have. It really gives you some style.

[flagreen]

Hmm... maybe it's my PC but is that Dog's hair purple?

[Jake the Dog]

lol @ cougtek!

he actually has a a fair bit of brindle in his coat. it looks a little purple in the photo. i've tried to remove it but little.

[Jake the Dog]

just wondering clocker, are you considering entering parenthood?

[CougTek]

Parenhood : A big step for man and a small step for humanity.

[time]

Well, I don't know what to say. I could have done with a fifth option:

I'm a Dad but the coolness is inversely proportional to the number of kids.

The first one is cool. 8)

The novelty of the first carries you through the second, plus for some the knowledge their family is complete. :)

The third is sometimes tolerable. :wink:

The fourth is a test of your strength of character. :(

The fifth is a nightmare. :cry:

By the time you get to six, you're numb to the consequences anyhow. :o

Seven is for hardcore catholics like Mel Gibson. :-?

Eight is ... well eight is just :eekers:

Nine. They don't call it a cat 'o nine tails for nothing. :crucified:

I think I'll stop there, if that's okay. I can't hear myself think anyway 'cause some of the kids are swinging from the chandelier and yelling loud enough to threaten the glass in the windows.

[Tannin]

To the best of my knowledge, in the strictly biological sense, no.

I do, however, have a moderately extensive collection of "not-children" - kids belonging to my girlfriend and my ex, or my ex and my ex-ex, depending on how you view these things.

These are the people that for me absorb the care and provide the delight that most of you devote to and receive from your biological children. I'm very close to two of my ex's four kids (a boy of 17 and a girl of 21), and have a marked soft spot for the other two (19yo girl and 24yo boy).

I still make a financial contribution to the family every month, entirely of my own free will. I guess I look at it this way: their biological father, who earns three times as much as I do, contributes the legal minimum. He has never tried to whelch on his obligations, he is not a dishonest man, but never offered a penny more than he has to either. I kind of redress the balance. It's a modest amount but enough to make the difference between poverty and comfort for them (or for so many of them as are still at home and/or students now). That makes me feel useful and it pleases me, so I continue to do it.

But their main significance is the joy they bring, the freshness and energy and joy in life that young people are so good at.

My other quasi-family is, of course, Belinda's brood. Four of them too, about the same ages. And while I get on just fine with all of them (except maybe the youngest one who is tedious) Kristi is the only one that I feel especially close to.

Fatherhood?

Nope.

Rewarding?

My word it is.

[Clocker]

Our plant is to pop a little one out of the oven around this time next year.....

CLOCKER!

Maybe I can create a Clocker Jr. ID and post some stories from a kids perspective....I can read it now...


Wow this food sucks. Not even close compared to breast milk. Daddy made me mad today so I pissed on him

OMG this is scary...in a good way. ;-)

Clocker

[Buck]

I love it, another split personality on the way.

[GMac]

:lol: My old man is still turning 'em out, so I guess I'll have to wait (and yes, you read it right - I'm getting a baby brother at the ripe old age of 35 in a couple of weeks time). I'd certainly consider it, but I've gotta find the right lady first....

GM

[Bartender]

:lol: My old man is still turning 'em out, so I guess I'll have to wait (and yes, you read it right - I'm getting a baby brother at the ripe old age of 35 in a couple of weeks time). I'd certainly consider it, but I've gotta find the right lady first....

GM

Not much else to do in Skipton, North Yorks?

[Mercutio]

My grandmother has your dad beat, GMac. Her oldest today is 67, her youngest only 29 (or maybe 30. Either way it's pretty bad). It's weird that I have cousins with kids older than my youngest aunt.

[timwhit]

I'm 20 and I have half sisters that are in their 40s. My older sister was born in '59, and I was born in '81. Which makes her 22 years older than me. I was an uncle when I was 8 years old.

[Jake the Dog]

a week ago i was saying how we had 5 weeks to go before our baby was due. i was wrong and officially a week to early according to the doctors. in fact we were all wrong and @ 00:35 yesterday morning, my wife kirsty and i had a beautiful little boy, Seth James, officially 5 weeks early.

i was there throughout he entire ordeal which is is such an amazing experience. i'm still stunned at how kirsty worked through the labour without gas, painkillers, in fact nothing at all and never once complained or became unsettled. i have a whole new respect for kirsty and all women now!

i guess little Seth is the youngest member of SF :P



http://members.optushome.com.au/chillicom/LittleSeth/Seth_in_HumidiCrib_13May02.jpg

[James]

Huge congratulations Jake, and looks like a beautiful baby.

I especially like the choice of middle name. ;)

[NRG = mc²]

Congratulations!

(BTW - did Jake the Dog take a bite out of his right ear? Sure looks like it :aok: )

[Buck]

It must be spring time, my cousin just had a baby, a friend of mine had one this morning, and my neighbor just had one.

[Handruin]

Super! Congrats Jake!!! Best wishes to you, your family, and your new born.

:beer:

[Mercutio]

Best wishes for your new boy, Jake.

[flagreen]

What a beautiful baby Jake! Congratulations!

[GMac]

:lol: My old man is still turning 'em out, so I guess I'll have to wait (and yes, you read it right - I'm getting a baby brother at the ripe old age of 35 in a couple of weeks time). I'd certainly consider it, but I've gotta find the right lady first....

GM

Not much else to do in Skipton, North Yorks?

:lol: Actually he doesn't live locally (actually 200 miles away, just outside London). But yes you're right :D It in't exactly the centre of the known universe when it comes to entertainment....
Having much younger siblings isn't something entirely new for me though - I've also got a 12 year old sister (23 year gap) and a 21 year old brother (14 year gap).

GM

BTW congratulations on your new-born Jake!

[time]

Congratulations, Jake. Here's the experiences of another father for you to ponder:

Stanley is about eighteen or nineteen, I am not sure which, but looks much older than his years. He is taller and thinner than I but otherwise resembles me as closely as can be expected these days. His face can look positively cherubic on occasion, but this makes no difference to the fact that he can be a fiend from the blackest pit when he likes. I've had a lot of trouble with him. A few weeks ago he was at that stage where he had given up the idea of being a pirate, engine-driver, or chief rescuer in the fire brigade, and wanted to be a poet. He has altered greatly since, but I would much rather rear a platypus than a boy. Problems innumerable beset the conscientious father, but the greatest problem of all is to know in what trade or profession the boy will be best fitted to support his old father at a later date.

The medical profession, of course, suggests itself immediately. I have no yearning to have Stanley descend to the familiarity of listening-in to the heart-throbs of the vulgar, and punching people in the ribs and asking if it hurts. Neither do I wish to stand on one leg with my mouth open and say ninety-nine, as I would undoubtedly be compelled to do if he were training for the medical profession. His mother would see to that. Furthermore, judging by the number of divorce cases that doctors become entangled in it would seem that the only way some of them can keep their names untarnished is by the application of a little metal-polish to their brass plate. And whatever else Stanley is, I want him to be untarnished. That is to say, he'd be fool enough to get caught.

I could make a lawyer of him. He really has a talent in that direction. He comes home in the small hours of the morning with an iron-clad alibi and even the wife can find no chink in his armour of excuses. He is a fountain of fluid eloquence. I'm a bit that way myself: it runs in our family. Still, admitting that lawyers are quite all right in their place, the trouble is to find the place.

There is the Church. Somehow I don't think he is fitted for it. He hasn't heard the call, so to speak. It seems to be a weakness of his, this deafness to calls. Every morning I have to go to his room and pull the bed-clothes off him before he shows any signs of life. This despite the fact that his mother has shouted herself black in the face at the foot of the stairs and his aunt has battered the paint off his door. He did show some interest in the subject of the revision of the prayer-book. His suggestion was to insert cross-word puzzles on alternate pages with blank leaves interspersed here and there for sketches and notes to be passed along to fellow sufferers during the sermon. He can be wooden-headed, dull and entirely lacking in imagination when the mood seizes him, and taking into consideration these assets, I had hopes of a brilliant career for him in the army, but unfortunately he is flatfooted, so his other qualifications go for
nothing.

I could, I suppose, put a stiff collar on him, give him a pair of gold cuff-links, a cigarette-holder, and a couple of fountain-pens and incarcerate him in a warehouse; to emerge at the expiration of his sentence as a business man: a successful business man: a man who has won the right to put his thumb in the armhole of his vest and look over the top of his glasses and grunt. Or I could start him off in the Public Service. There he could remain for about forty years in a more or less comatose condition and later be dismissed from his position of Temporary Casual Supernumerary Class II clerk with a pension. The pension would not be sufficient to keep me and I could not bear the thought of filling in forms, LX2, A3, Folio 9716Q in quadruplicate, digging up birth certificates, writing out references for him and getting his finger-prints taken in order to get him on the waiting-list.

I have read of fathers cutting their sons off with a shilling and casting them into the world with a clout in one ear and a lot of invaluable advice in the other. And the sons have become celebrated Lord Mayors, bushrangers, politicians and big business men. Worked themselves up from newsboys to a position where they can sign cheques for thousands without having to flee the country immediately. I have thought over this arrangement of cutting him off with a shilling--but I cannot spare the shilling.

(Lennie Lower in "Here's Luck")

[CougTek]

Congrats Jake. I just remarked that , but...your son is white and you're black. Are you not worried not to be the father? ;-)

Just remember that while convenient, using the garden hose to clean baby's mess would be cruel for your son.

[Tea]

I have noticed with astonishment the absolute ignorance of bachelors in regard to the care of the young.

To begin at the beginning,. It will be noticed in a fresh baby that it is of a pale, prawn-like colour, and is bald and toothless, exhibiting all the evidences of senility. This is the usual thing, and the minder is not to be alarmed.

The first thing noticeable about the baby is the yowl. This must be stopped at all costs. There are various methods, but the principle to keep in mind is - at all costs. Watches are very good; a firm hold must be kept on the chain, however, as I have on two occasions lost a perfectly good watch through the child swallowing it.

This mania for swallowing and sucking things may be indulged in to an almost unlimited extent. Door-knobs are excellent, though the holding of the baby to the knob becomes somewhat tiring. This may be overcome by unscrewing the hinges of the door and placing it in an accessible position.

Babies of an artistic nature, or of practically any nature, may be left with a tin of stove-polish or a bottle of red ink or almost any other medium for an indefinite period.

In cases of persistent howling, a belt passed over the top of the head and buckled securely under the chin is an infallible remedy. This must be used only in extreme cases.

Never allow a dog to lick the face of a baby as any number of diseases may be communicated, and in the case of a valuable dog, this is most serious and may lead to its loss, or, at the best, a falling-off of condition, and an absence of lustre in the coat.

On two or three occasions I have found the addition of one-third of a cupful of rum to the feeding milk to be very effective. Only the best O.P. rum must be used, as babies are very delicately constituted internally. A better way is for the minder to have four or five cupfuls himself, when it will be found that an extraordinary number of ways of amusing the child will suggest themselves.

(Lennie Lower: The Bachelors' Guide to the Care of the Young.)

[Bartender]

Congratulations Jake - drinks on the house!

[time]

Thanks Tea, that was the quote I really wanted, but I've misplaced that particular book. The best I could do was encourage Jake to look ahead a few years ...

[Tea]

My pleasure, Time, and I hope that Jake finds it instructive.

I was surprised and delighted to see that there is another Lennie Lower fan in this small community - I might have guessed it would be you. Doubtless there are other gems of Lower wisdom we could pass on to Jake as his family matures.

[Mercutio]

My favorite lullaby, for no particular reason. I suppose it's odd that a grown man have a favorite lullaby, especially one who doesn't like kids, but I sing it for my girlfriend's nieces and they like it.

"Hush you by, don't you cry
Go to sleepy little baby
When you wake you shall have
all the pretty little horses

Black and Bay, Dapple and Grey
Coach and six a-little horses
Black and Bay, Dapple and Grey
Coach and six a-little horses

Hush you by, don't you cry
Go to sleepy little baby
When you wake you'll have sweet cake
all the pretty little horses
Brown and Bay and Black and Grey
and a coach and six a-little horses
Brown and Bay and Black and Grey
and a coach and six a-little horses

Hush you by, don't you cry,
Go to sleepy little baby.
Go to sleepy little baby.
Oh you pretty little baby."
- Aaron Copland, Old American Songs vol. 2

Of course it has a wonderful melody as well.

[Tea]

A pretty ring to the words, more in the rhythmthan anywhere else, I think. Needs the melody though.

[GMac]

Just to let you know, my little brother arrived a fortnight early at 7.20AM BST this morning (7lb 2oz). He and his mum are both doing well :D , and the news still hasn't quite sunk in yet..... :)

GM

[Jake the Dog]

congrats GMac!

[Handruin]

Just to let you know, my little brother arrived a fortnight early at 7.20AM BST this morning (7lb 2oz). He and his mum are both doing well :D , and the news still hasn't quite sunk in yet..... :)

GM

Congrats to you as well!

:beer:

[Cliptin]

How are the little fellas these days?


______________________________

Some lite entertainment:

THEME PARK

Copyright 1999 W. Bruce Cameron
[ www.wbrucecameron.com ]

One of the most endearing traits of children is their utter trust that their
parents will provide them with all of life's necessities, meaning food,
shelter, and a weekend at a theme park.

A theme park is a sort of ARTIFICIAL vacation, a place where you can enjoy
all your favorite pastimes at once, such as motion sickness and heat
exhaustion.

Adult tolerance for theme parks peaks at about an hour, which is how long it
takes to walk from the parking lot to the front gate. You fork over an
obscene amount of money to gain entrance to a theme park, though it costs
nothing to leave (which is odd, because once you've been inside the walls
for a while, you'd pay anything to escape).

The two main activities in a theme park are (a) standing in line, and (b)
sweating. The sun reflects off the concrete with a fiendish lack of
mercy--you're about to learn the boiling point of tennis shoes. Your hair
is sunburned, and when a small child in front of you gestures with her hand
she smacks you in the face with her cotton candy; now it feels like your
cheeks are covered with carnivorous sand.

The ride your children have selected for you is a corkscrewing,
stomach-compressing roller coaster built by the same folks who manufactured
the baggage delivery system at the Denver International Airport. Apparently
the theme of this particular park is "Nausea." You sit down and are
strapped in so tightly you can feel your shoulders grinding against your
pelvis.

Once the ride begins you are thrown about with such violence it reminds you
of your teenager's driving. When the ride is over your children want to get
something to eat, but first the ride attendants have to pry your fingers off
of the safety bar. "Open your eyes, please, sir," they keep shouting.

They finally convince you to let go, though it seems a bit discourteous of
them to have used pepper spray. Staggering, you follow your children to the
Hot Dog Palace for some breakfast.

Food at a theme park is so expensive it would be cheaper to just eat your
own money. Your son's meal costs a day's pay and consists of items
manufactured of corn syrup, which is sugar, sucrose, which is sugar,
fructose, which is sugar, and sugar, which is sugar. He also consumes large
quantities of what in dog food would be called "meat by-products." When,
after another couple of rides, he announces that he feels like he is going
to throw up, you're very alarmed--having seen his meal once, you're in no
mood to see it again.

With the exception of that first pummeling, you manage to stay off the rides
all day, explaining to your children that it isn't good for you when your
internal organs are forcibly rearranged. Now, though, they coax you back in
line, promising a ride that doesn't twist, doesn't hang you upside down like
a bat, doesn't cause your brain to flop around inside your skull--it just
goes up and then comes back down. That's it, Dad, no big deal.

What they don't tell you is HOW it comes back down. You're strapped into a
seat and pulled gently up into acrophobia, the city falling away from you.
Okay, not so bad, and in the conversation you're having with God you explain
that you're thankful for the wonderful view but you really would like to get
down now.

And that's just how you descend: NOW. Without warning, you plummet to the
ground in an uncontrolled free fall. You must be moving faster than the
speed of sound because when you open your mouth, nothing comes out. Your
life passes before your eyes, and your one regret is that you will not have
an opportunity to punish your children for bringing you to this hellish
place.

Brakes cut in and you slam to a stop. You gingerly touch your face to
confirm it has fallen off. "Wasn't that fun, dad?" your kids ask. "Why are
you kissing the ground?"

At the end of the day, you let your teenager drive home. (After the theme
park, you are impervious to fear.)

[Bartender]

Great post Cliptin.

[Clocker]

I'm a little late but...CONGRATS JAKE!

C

[Jake the Dog]

6 weeks on and i'm starting to forget what sleep is... oh the joy :P i might be sleepless but i'm very happy.

nice post clipton and thanks for asking :) thanks too to clocker.

seth is doing very well, extremely well actually. he's grown 9cm (3 1/2") in 6 weeks. i didn't growth at that rate was possible.

[Cliptin]

6 weeks on and i'm starting to forget what sleep is... oh the joy :P i might be sleepless but i'm very happy.

nice post clipton and thanks for asking :) thanks too to clocker.

seth is doing very well, extremely well actually. he's grown 9cm (3 1/2") in 6 weeks. i didn't growth at that rate was possible.

I grew 10" :eekers: in the summer between my sophmore and junior years of high school. No pains but I slept all the time. Not your luck huh.

[Will Rickards WT]

6-10 weeks and counting!
I have a counter on my baby page (http://www.willrickards.net/baby/index.html). It only counts in days since a) we are not quite sure the exact day let alone time of conception b) counting the hours, minutes, and seconds just seemed to be going overboard.

[Jake the Dog]

i can't imagine today getting any better for me. i got my first smile from Seth this morning. it was awesome :mrgrn:

[GMac]

6 weeks on and i'm starting to forget what sleep is... oh the joy :P i might be sleepless but i'm very happy.


I can appreciate that - little Fin (my bro') wakes every two hours without fail at night - made my first visit to see him somewhat tiring, but enjoyable for all that :mrgrn: ; during the day though he'll sleep for upwards of 3 hours at a time. And boy, can he eat! - not surprisingly he's put 3lbs on in the last 3 weeks. Hopefully I'll be getting a few pics of me & him together before long, so I'll try and post one (kill two birds with one stone :lol: ).

GM

[Koggit]

My sister had a baby not that long ago, Owen is the cutest thing on the planet, I wish I could meet him in person but my sis lives in california.

[Groltz]

I've made my contribution to the planet.

After a visit to the urologist earlier today, I am now sporting permanent built-in birth control.

[Buck]

My sister had a baby not that long ago, Owen is the cutest thing on the planet, I wish I could meet him in person but my sis lives in california.

How unusual. It's rare that people (especially in California) name their child Owen. Let's see, with a name like Owen, you could end up with initials like ONO, or OHM.

[flagreen]

My sister had a baby not that long ago, Owen is the cutest thing on the planet, I wish I could meet him in person but my sis lives in california.

How unusual. It's rare that people (especially in California) name their child Owen. Let's see, with a name like Owen, you could end up with initials like ONO, or OHM.
Careful... that's my grandson you're talking about Buck. :)

[Buck]

Ooops, thinking out loud again. So Flagreen, if you may answer, where does this beautiful new addition to our planet reside in California?

[flagreen]

San Francisco. My daughter, Emily, and her husband Chad have been living out there since she graduated from college a few years ago. He's a software engineer and a very decent sort. Emily was going to go to law school until the baby came about. She had been accepted and was all set to go. Oh well "The best laid plans of..." as they say. He is an adorable baby of course.

[Buck]

San Francisco. My daughter, Emily, and her husband Chad have been living out there since she graduated from college a few years ago. He's a software engineer and a very decent sort. Emily was going to go to law school until the baby came about. She had been accepted and was all set to go. Oh well "The best laid plans of..." as they say. He is an adorable baby of course.

San Francisco: a city with extra-ordinary people. For your daughter and son-in-law, I wish the best. Law school is nice, but being witness to, and enjoying the life of a newborn is unimaginable (hectic & enjoyable). I certainly hope that grandfather Flagreen and Uncle Koggit have the pleasure of visiting with Owen soon (if this has already not occurred).

I have reservations regarding the city of San Francisco, but seeing has how your family is prospering there, I dare not say a word to the opposite. If you daughter allows ( I don’t know of any that wouldn’t), take her to Macys in Union Square and indulge; then stroll over to here:

http://westin-st-francis-hotel.visit-san-francisco.com/Westin-St-Francis-3.jpg
Westin St. Francis (http://www.sirfrancisdrake.com/)

. . . for a nice afternoon drink or tea.

[flagreen]

Thanks for the tip Buck! We haven't been out there yet as Owen's grandmothers have each kept Emily's guest bedroom booked solid. SF seems like a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there either.