Just for you, Prof W

[Tea]

Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don`t know why I`m mad at you, then I`m certainly not going to tell you."
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval;
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons follow:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless;
2. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;
3. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night;
4. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model;
5. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

[Cliptin]

Some Haikus to calm you after such hilarity:

---------------------------------------------------
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-------------------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
--------------------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-----------------------------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
------------------------------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
--------------------------------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
---------------------------------------------------
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
---------------------------------------------------
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
Document not found.
--------------------------------------------------
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao - until
You bring fresh toner.
-------------------------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
---------------------------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
---------------------------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
---------------------------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
---------------------------------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
--------------------------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
---------------------------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

[Prof.Wizard]

Hehehe...
thanks Tea!
:lol: :D :mrgrn:

[Prof.Wizard]

BTW, in Greek it's male...
As it is in Italian and German. French too (I think)...

I guess the female scientists are right on this one! :wink:

[CougTek]

BTW, in Greek it's male...
As it is in Italian and German. French too (I think)...

Un ordinateur : masculin
Un système : masculin
Une fenêtre (window) : féminin

Take your own conclusions.

[CougTek]

MAKE, MAKE!! Where's the f***ing edit button?

[Mercutio]

In Bill's Moderator console?

[Prof.Wizard]

Un ordinateur : masculin

I'm studying French since last October. I've noticed in the dictionary (a beginners' one) that the translation for computer is indeed ordinateur... but do Frenchmen really call like this their PCs?

Well, it's not too strange... in Greek we still call them calculators...

[CNN Sport]

"Some pretty strange countries around the globe, Dave."

"Sure are, Ed. You know what they call computers in Australia?"

"No Dave, what do they call computers in Australia?"

"Mostly, it's 'You fu*king pox-ridden sh*t box!' - but sometimes they are a bit more blunt and a little less polite."

"Only in Australia, Dave."

"Only on a Friday, Ed."

[Mercutio]

Aussies are that polite?

I almost can't go to a job without learning new descriptive phrases for PCs.
My personal favorite clueless term is "modem" (even more funny when there isn't even a modem in the computer being referred to).

I call them boxes. Even idiots know what I'm talking about that way, and the odd Mac person doesn't have to take offense at my use of the term "PC" (some Mac users stridently believe that what they have is NOT a PC, while others, equally stridently feel that Macs are just as deserving of the title as intel-based machines).

[CougTek]

PC stands for Personal Computer and MACs fit to that definition just as well as x86 systems (and several others too). But somehow, PC has been associated with x86 only. Probably because MAC users are so, well, like MAC users.

BTW, apple is feminine in French, guess it was predestinated ;-)

And yes, we do call our computers "ordinateurs", but I don't think you would pronounce it correctly. It doesn't sound as weird as you might believe. A rough approximation of how ordinateur should be pronounced would be if you English folks would say "ordeenatter".

[Prof.Wizard]

Très bien... :D

[Sol]

some Mac users stridently believe that what they have is NOT a PC, while others, equally stridently feel that Macs are just as deserving of the title as intel-based machines


Havn't you heard? Macs are supercomputers now. Ever since Apple redefined the term supercomputer as anything that can do a Gigaflop.
Personally I'm waiting for some professional wrestlers to come forward and claim supercomputer status too.
:D

[Pradeep]

Not only that Sol, but I have heard a g4 iMac referred to as a Unix workstation. I laughed for a very long time after that one.

[Tannin]

How is it possible to do a gigaflop when you don't even have an ordinary flop drive anymore?

[Pradeep]

The flop becomes apparent when you see the performance of OS X ;)

[Tannin]

Well, at least they have stopped using that stolen OS9 - not thet OS I'm talking about here, the name. That was a disgrace.