Goodbye (for now)

[Tea]

Tannin and I won't be around much, if at all, for the next 5 or 6 weeks, because we are heading off to points unknown with camera in hand.

Yippee!

We are taking a laptop, which has a modem, but probably won't be anywhere we can log in from very often.

So be good.

PS: as soon as Mrs Pradeep presents him with a beautiful little daughter, I expect that they will want to name her after me. That is OK, I don't mind at all. If you want me to be her godmother, Pradeep, I could teach her to climb trees and peel bananas with her feet. (I think you have to catch them young. Tannin has been trying to learn it for ages and still hasn't got the hang of it.)

PPS: If the unexpected happens and it's a little son that Mrs Pradeep produces while I'm gone, you can name him after me anyway. That would make him something like Tea Bruce Pradeep, as opposed to the girl, who would be Tea Alice Pradeep. Or possibly Tea Bananas Pradeep - I think having that middle name might save a lot of trouble later on in life when she says "banana is my middle name" and people don't believe her.

PPPS: I forget what the PPPS is.

Be good!

[Tannin]

We have it all worked out. Ideally, I'd navigate (because I'm good at navigating) and Tea would take care of the driving. Unfortunately, she can't reach the pedels, so we are going to have to do it the other way about.

Which might be a little tricky.

I can drive OK, but Tea's navigation ... well .... it can be a little haphazard sometimes.

By the way, where are we going, Tea?

[Tea]

I'll tell you later.

[Tannin]

What do you mean, "you'll tell me later"? Don't you know?

[Tea]

I'll know soon.

[Tannin]

What do you mean "soon"? Look, the idea of navigation is that you start with a particular destination in mind, and you turn left, or go straight, or else turn right according to which turn is going to get you to the place you are heading for. Got it?

Yes, that's right. And and if you don't make any wrong turns, you end up in the right place.

What's that?

Oh. You do it a different way, do you?

No, no, no no. You can't get there first and then decide where you were going afterwards! That's cheating. And you have to decide which place you are going to before you are close enough to read the sign on the front of the Post Office.

OK?

Now, where are we going, Tea?

[Tannin]

Oh, for the love of Mike ....

Can you be a little more precise than "Australia"?

Well, I guess that's a little more precise.

Gentlemen, I am reliably informed that we are going to ...

(How did you put that again, Tea? Ah yes, thankyou.)

We are going to, and I quote, "Some places in Australia that aren't Ballarat."

I'll let you all know a bit more when I know myself. It's probably safe to assume that it will actually be one of those places in Australia that aren't Ballarat and where they happen to grow bananas, but I shouldn't be surprised if we wind up in Alice Springs. Or Perth. Or Darwin.

[Tea]

Do they have bananas in Darwin?

[LiamC]

Bananas! Now I know you are :)

And you're probably off to the Gold Coast, with all those scantily clad orangatangs (sp? Bleh!) I know, you'll say that it is really the Tweed Coast - because it has bananas, and the GC hinterland has lots of birds and other wildlife :eekers: But we will know!

Good luck and have a great holiday you pair :D

[Tannin]

Well, I have it in mind to go up via Broken Hill and Bourke, then across to Cairns and hire a 4WD to go up Cape York Peninsula and back, then home via the Gold Coast hinterland (not the Gold Coast itself - I hate the place), the Blue Mountains, Eden, and Mallacoota. But there is no way we would fit all that in even if I was navigating and Tea was driving, using her patented cruise control method (which involves placing a large, heavy object on the accellerator and hanging on for dear life). So I guess we will just have to wait and see.

And with Tea navigating, I expect we will hit Port Headland sooner or later.

How bad can it be? WTF? As Tea says, it's an island - we can't go too far wrong.

Still, somewhere in there, I'd like to see some real desert again (I haven't seen any since I lived in Alice Springs, which was almost 40 years ago) and meet some of the tropical species that you just don't get down here in the cooler climate. Also, a week on a coral island would be nice. (We will never squeeze all that in. Just drive at random until it's time to come home, I guess.

And we will be sure to bring back some great pictures!

[Mercutio]

Since Pradeep's in the USA now, I think the Aussie constitutional requirement that he work "Bruce" into his son's name is lifted.

Human gestational times are quite a bit longer than five weeks though, and it didn't LOOK like Pradeep had a shotgun wedding. Just the same, if Pradeep DID have a son, I'd think he'd want only the best name there is for the boy...
Zoltan.

You and Tea could always drive to the USA and visit our lovely assortment of er, exotic pigeons and owls and geese... that would in fact be "not Ballarat".

Just a suggestion, of course.

Have fun with all that wildlife-looking. And no whiskey before 8:00AM!

[Tea]

Drive to the US. OK. Go to Sydney and turn right, yes?

(But gin is OK, is't it?)

[Tannin]

Just as well I'm doing the driving!

[Mercutio]

you'll say that it is really the Tweed Coast -


Australia has a Tweed Coast?

Do you have Mohair and Seersucker Coasts, too?

[flagreen]

Do they have bananas in Darwin?
Speaking of "Darwin" I think he'll have to write a new ending for the Origin of Species when you two meet up. Bon Voyage...

[LiamC]

Zoltan

Bah! Duran Duran my man :)

Oh Barbarella...

[Pradeep]

Have a good trip "Godfather/Mother"

Isn't it coming into the rainy season up North? We may not see you for months if you get bogged!

[Tea]

Really? Great! I don't mind if I don't have to go to the office for .. oh .. about 5 years or so would be enough.

[Buck]

Have a great time you two. (Gin before 8:00am is okay) Don't mind all of the German tourists, just let Tea do the driving and she'll take care of them.

By the way, I had a Hungarian customer once named Zoltan. If Pradeep Jr. ends up like him, he'll be an environmental scientist and a hunter. :)

Five years away from the office? Wow, when you get back, the shop will be a whole new world.

[cquinn]

Hmmm,

Boy:
Zoltan Tea Banana(s) Pradeep aka ZTB Pradeep

Girl:
Barbarella Tea Banana(s) Pradeep aka BTB Pradeep


Oh, and please do have fun on your trip.

[The JoJo]

Have a GREAT trip T&T!

Drive safely!

...Try to drive safely!

...A bus is probably out of the question with you two?

...A taxi?

Ah, whatta hell, just use the TCCPP (Tea's Cruise Control with Patent Pending ;)) and go for it.

And remember the motto for a good semester, *belly in, chest out, muffled voice" No worries, mate!

[The JoJo]

...Just kidding of course. Have fun!

[EdwardK]

Have a great trip! By the way, whos minding the shop while you are away? You haven't given that responsiblity to Merc, have you? :wink:

Again, have a great trip!

[Bartender]

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen goodbye!

I packed plenty of Gin in Tea's luggage. We figured the other things like clothing and toiletry wer not as important as Gin. Gin does have some medicinal value.

[DrunkenBastard]

We figured the other things like clothing and toiletry wer not as important as Gin. Gin does have some medicinal value.

Damn right!

[Bartender]

Wow, who woke you up? I guess the word Gin has that magic ring that'll bring a hibernating drunk back to life.

[LiamC]

Gin does have some medicinal value.

I thought it was only the Tonic water :)

[e_dawg]

Enjoy, my friend. We will miss you.

[Pradeep]

"There are only two seasons on Cape York Peninsula the "wet" and the "dry". The wet is by far the most spectacular, from mid November thunderstorms herald the beginning of the monsoonal rain. The parched land is replenished and the once dry rivers and creeks again flow. It is from now until perhaps April or May that the roads will become impassable and the only way to visit the Cape York region is be by aircraft. This is also the cyclone season, with the right conditions they can form anywhere out to sea and cross the coast in varying intensity. At the end of the wet season the South East trade winds return drying the land, The once parched land is now green & lush and the wild flowers flourish."

Good luck, see you in May :D

[Pradeep]

Oops, forgot this:

http://www.visitcapeyork.com/

[Mercutio]

You haven't given that responsiblity to Merc, have you?


Maybe someday. Tannin probably just put up a sign that said "Out to Lunch. Back in November."

[Tannin]

Well, I just took a very serious step indeed: signed up for a dial-up account with Big Pong. (Yuk!) $30 a month, unlimited hours, 400MB download. But at least I get local call access from anywhere in Australia. Naturally, I'll cancel it as soon as I get back home. And, of course, much of the time I won't have a phone.

No matter. I can drop in now and then. If she is good, I'll let Tea have a go too. (Excuse crappy typing - I'm testing out the modem link with the new Toshiba.) (Yes, anoither Toshiba, Merc. a Sluggeron 2000 this one. 512MB, 30GB, DVD/CD-burner. )

[Pradeep]

Ah, should have let me know Tony, I have an iPrimus dial up account that's still active in Aus, you coulda used it no worries. Good luck with the Pong.

[flagreen]

Tea,

Don't forget the continuum-transfunctioner or Zoltan will be pissed. And of course pack plenty of aluminum foil for Tannin's hats.

[The JoJo]

Anyone heard of this couple?

[Pradeep]

I betcha he's gotten bogged in the back of Bourke. :mrgrn:

[CougTek]

Maybe he ventured too far in the swamps and has been eaten by one of those nasty salt water croc.

[CityK]

Either that or Tea ate Tannin.

[CougTek]

Having Tea in freedom is quite disturbing. Here's one of her relative's notion of Born To Be Wild :

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/220000/images/_222106_bike_300.jpg

Story (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/222106.stm)

Let's just hope she won't feel too lonely so she doen't turn wacko like that A-yung

[The JoJo]

Poor fella, all alone, no women in sight...

And just when he gets a night out in downtown and just might get lucky with a motorcycle, someone shoots at him with a traquilizer dart...

[Buck]

Who knows, maybe Tea did attempt a trans-Pacific drive.

[CityK]

"Tannin ol' boy, according to my calculationz, Hawaii zhould be juzt pazt thiz zchool of tuna"

[Buck]

Great, they'll be coming ashore here pretty soon. Mubs, it's time we clear the area. We'll hide out in Puyallup with Steve. Tannin and Tea probably can't even pronounce the name, so they'll never find us. :)

[mubs]

Sorry, Buck, you'll have to go alone :( . I can't pronounce that either, and don't have a clue as to where it is :x :oops: ! Since I can't run and can't hide, maybe I'll just have to end up welcoming those Aussies to the West Coast. :wink:

[CougTek]

I can't pronounce that either, and don't have a clue as to where it is
Seattle's area. Well, probably within an hour at least. Not far from Mt. Rainier too. SF administrator Grotlz lives there.

As for the pronounciation, well...I could show you how I would say it in French.

[mubs]

Thanks Coug. It's my day to apologize. Me no speak French :(

[ddrueding]

Wow, this is where ya'll went....who created an account for me? If they show up here (Central Coast of CA) I'll let you know....

[blakerwry]

where are you Tea?

[Howell]

Wow, this is where ya'll went....who created an account for me? If they show up here (Central Coast of CA) I'll let you know....

Your account was created on 04 Feb 2002and you have 7 posts. How did you happen to wander back by this establishment? :)

[ddrueding]

Wow, this is where ya'll went....who created an account for me? If they show up here (Central Coast of CA) I'll let you know....

Your account was created on 04 Feb 2002and you have 7 posts. How did you happen to wander back by this establishment? :)

I remembered it at random last night while intoxicated....go figure ;)

Now it's part of my startup group, so expect to see me around :)

[flagreen]

Wow, this is where ya'll went....who created an account for me? If they show up here (Central Coast of CA) I'll let you know....

Your account was created on 04 Feb 2002and you have 7 posts. How did you happen to wander back by this establishment? :)

I remembered it at random last night while intoxicated....go figure ;)

Now it's part of my startup group, so expect to see me around :)
Uh oh... Still trying to predict the future I see. :)

[Mercutio]

I think we need to telephone Ballarat to see if anyone there has a clue where our itinerant tree-dweller is.

[ddrueding]

I think we need to telephone Ballarat to see if anyone there has a clue where our itinerant tree-dweller is.

If someone has the number, a client has a killer long distance plan ;)

[ddrueding]

Uh oh... Still trying to predict the future I see. :)

Nah, just recognising a good thing when I see it...:)

[Bartender]

I think we need to telephone Ballarat to see if anyone there has a clue where our itinerant tree-dweller is.

The number is floating around in one of the threads somewhere.

[Bartender]

Nah, just recognising a good thing when I see it...:)

Thanks for the compliment. Drinks on the house for ddrueding!

[DrunkenBastard]

I'll have a coupla Harp largers please tenderer.

[DrunkenBastard]

Perhaps even a lager. :oops:

[Bartender]

On to the light stuff now DB?

[Buck]

Cuppa tea please.

[DrunkenBastard]

Yeah I'm out of Bombay Sapphire and tequila gives me terrible breath that scares the deer away.

[OT: Polizei]

Jaegermeister für mich.

[Buck]

Yeah I'm out of Bombay Sapphire and tequila gives me terrible breath that scares the deer away.

Yum, Harps and venison.

[DrunkenBastard]

Yup it was opening day yesterday, unfortunately it was too warm and no wind, so the cunning bastiches lay down in the cornfields. I did see one which I laid 5 rounds towards, sadly didn't touch him. Then a 7 point buck[/b[] tried to run me over when we were pushing a cornfield, by the time I got the gun up it ran the other way and got holed by the three hunters on the other side who could see it. Two guys ended up sharing it. Wierdest thing of the day was a guy who got a nice 10 pointer, when he got home the deer wasn't in his truck. I don't yet know if he drove off with the tailgate down or someone stole it.

Going out again tomorrow. We need some snow and windy conditions real bad. Worst opening day in years.

[ddrueding]

Nah, just recognising a good thing when I see it...:)

Thanks for the compliment. Drinks on the house for ddrueding!

:oops: I'll take a Belvadere and Tonic, thanks...

[flagreen]

Yup it was opening day yesterday, unfortunately it was too warm and no wind, so the cunning bastiches lay down in the cornfields. I did see one which I laid 5 rounds towards, sadly didn't touch him. Then a 7 point buck[/b[] tried to run me over when we were pushing a cornfield, by the time I got the gun up it ran the other way and got holed by the three hunters on the other side who could see it. Two guys ended up sharing it. Wierdest thing of the day was a guy who got a nice 10 pointer, when he got home the deer wasn't in his truck. I don't yet know if he drove off with the tailgate down or someone stole it.

Going out again tomorrow. We need some snow and windy conditions real bad. Worst opening day in years.

Good lord, four hunters in the same corn field going after the very same Buck at the very same time? How many friggin' hunters get shot up there on opening day? Yikes!

[Mercutio]

Sounds like we should arm the deer to prevent hunter overpopulation.

[mubs]

Sounds like we should arm the deer to prevent hunter overpopulation.
Seconded. Going about killing those handsome animals! Tsk, Tsk.

I'll bet one of the four hunters was Pradeep. Why do you think he bought a set of expensive snow tyres for his car? Just you wait, DB, when it really snows, he'll out-tyre and out-gun ya.

[flagreen]

Sounds like we should arm the deer to prevent hunter overpopulation.
LOL yes it seems the herd needs thining.

[ddrueding]

Sounds like we should arm the deer to prevent hunter overpopulation.

Screw it. Get the deer out of there and get some live Counterstrike going :D

[flagreen]

By the way DB just how long does it take to fire off five rounds? Did the deer not catch on to what you were up to when you missed the first four times and just stood there until it figured things out? I mean are NY deer really that stupid? Or did it catch on quick enough that you were trying to kill it but was just a very slow running deer? Enquiring minds want to know...

[its.fubar]

No flagreen You have totally misunderstood the deer realize it was being hunted by New Yorkers who couldn't find their way to the end off the street without somebody first showing them the way but if you equipped them with a so called Smart Weapon they might do better next time.

[flagreen]

By the way DB just how long does it take to fire off five rounds? Did the deer not catch on to what you were up to when you missed the first four times and just stood there until it figured things out? I mean are NY deer really that stupid? Or did it catch on quick enough that you were trying to kill it but was just a very slow running deer? Enquiring minds want to know...

DB,

I hope you understand that this was intended as good natured ribbing only. I forgot to put the smily face at the end of it.

Bill

[Buck]

It sure seems that our furry friend and her owner are a cooee from home, has anybody called the Ballarat shop? Maybe Tannin and Tea were over powered by a bunyip or a bushranger on their expedition?

[ddrueding]

It sure seems that our furry friend and her owner are a cooee from home, has anybody called the Ballarat shop? Maybe Tannin and Tea were over powered by a bunyip or a bushranger on their expedition?

Well, in an attempt to find what store is his, I did the usual google thing. And came up with this (http://en2.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tannin) Kinda interesting, but not what I'm after.

[Buck]

That would be the old man.

[DrunkenBastard]

Good lord, four hunters in the same corn field going after the very same Buck at the very same time? How many friggin' hunters get shot up there on opening day? Yikes!

Well we were all in line so when the buck went ahead of us it could be shot at without concern of hitting someone else - this being all private land.

One guy in NY was shot in the nose on opening day, apparently some 20 year old shot at a deer when it ran between him and his hunting partner, fired off 5 rounds. Very lucky not to be dead, had to have reconstructive surgery. On a brighter note no hunter wearing blaze orange has been killed since 1992. Mostly it's idiots running around in full forest camo. All common sense, identify your target and what lies behind it before putting your finger on the trigger.

[DrunkenBastard]

By the way DB just how long does it take to fire off five rounds? Did the deer not catch on to what you were up to when you missed the first four times and just stood there until it figured things out? I mean are NY deer really that stupid? Or did it catch on quick enough that you were trying to kill it but was just a very slow running deer? Enquiring minds want to know...

LOL no offense taken. The deer was about 60-70m out, so it couldn't tell where I was shooting from. I just kept shooting till someone yelled out, I had to stop for safeties sake, tho it was just one of our hunting group wondering what was going on. I need to get a scope for the shottie.

On a brighter note I got a button buck yesterday morning, i was in a ladder stand and the sneaky thing came out of very thick bush just behind me. Got a nice shot behind the shoulder and it was down within 10m. Not real big but I wasn't complaining. Plus it was pissing down with rain. Less than one inch antlers so I used a deer management tag on it. Sweet tenderloins for breakfast on Saturday!

[Howell]

Has anybody called the Ballarat shop?

Not recently. Some time ago I tried calling to order some parts as a joke and just to talk to Tannin. I must have tried every other day for a month during the Redhill lunch breaks but I always heard the operator message "All circuits are busy...". I've been meaning to tlak to James about that. :mrgrn:

[LunarMist]

Maybe Tea was eaten by a dingo?

[mubs]

Naw. I think she can bit back real good.

[flagreen]

Besides, Dingos cannot climb trees.

[CityK]

Yeah, but Orangutans aren't supposed to talk, and that sure hasn't stopped Tea. Those Dingos probably jump from tree to tree when were not looking.

[Mercutio]

Besides, Dingos cannot climb trees.

Yes, but Koalas are evil

[Pradeep]

Not to mention the gonorrhea! :o

[mubs]

Naw. I think she can bit back real good.
Gee. I'm typing impaired. Bite. That should be bite.

On those rare ocassions when I watch TV (usually to make my daughter happy), I think on Discover or Animal Planet they said that Koalas are the only animals (besides humans, of course) that rape. The male will rape a female even when she is not in heat, and apparently it causes the female quite some damage because she's not ready. Certainly not the sleepy, fuzzy, cute stuffed thingies you see in Hallmark stores.

[timwhit]

I fired off an e-mail to Tannin telling him to come back, so if he ever checks his e-mail maybe he will return one of these days.

[Sol]

Maybe I should give Kristy a call at the shop to see if she knows anything... Plus I think I gave Tannin as a reference to a real estate agent so there could be confusion there.....

Oh yeah and Hi guys!

[CougTek]

Hi. Take a seat and order a beer.

[Mercutio]

Have you fixed anything cool with toothpaste lately?

[The JoJo]

OK, this is a bit too much, almost two months already! Somebody phone Tony. Sol? Maybe I should...hmmm....

Going to Thailand for two weeks, perhaps I should take a flight down from there....;)

[ddrueding]

Going to Thailand for two weeks, perhaps I should take a flight down from there....;)

Where in Thailand?

[The JoJo]

Where in Thailand?

Bangkok for 4 days (getting married there :)) and then Khao Lak for 10 days

[Mercutio]

Well, I started to make a joke about what kind of girl you're going to be marrying in Bangkok, but the soon-to-be Mrs. Saari probably wouldn't like it.

Congratulations JoJo!

Dammit, now I've gone and gotten that song from "Chess" stuck in my head.

[The JoJo]

Actually, she won't become Mrs. Saari, as she wants to keep her surname. Ok with me.

The day we start talking about childrens surnames, it will be a different story.

I just LOVE "one night in bangkok" ! Great one.

PS On a side note, the plan is to get married. Hopefully our translator (who was 9 months pregnant a week and a few days ago) is "no more" pregnant when we arrive there. I hope she has had time to recuperate until that day. We will need her for all the documents and the ceremony itself, as they don't all speek english too well (or so I'm told).

PPS I hope we have all the right documents with us.

Yikes. :)

[Buck]

Congratulations JoJo!


Welcome back Sol, you've been missed.

[The JoJo]

Thanks!

Nice to see you again Sol!

[CougTek]

We will need her for all the documents and the ceremony itself, as they don't all speek english too well (or so I'm told).
Then just speak Finnish.

[Buck]

Just speak French, isn't that the second language of the world?

[Pradeep]

Congrats JoJo! Is she a Finnish lady or Thai? Have a great honeymoon! I guess all you would need is your birth certificates, passports, and divorce papers if either of you have been married before.

And where are the pics!

[ddrueding]

Definatly congratulations are in order...I haven't been married in Thailand, but I did propose there ;)

And spanish is the second language (some might argue the first) around here....

[Buck]

And spanish is the second language (some might argue the first) around here....

Indeed ddr.

[Handruin]

Congratulations JoJo!! I hope you guys have a great time. :sunny:

[Pradeep]

Completely off-topic but on the same continent:

Norway PM's bomb proof car too heavy for roads

Norway's Prime Minister cannot use his new bomb proof car, despite a threat of attack by Al Qaeda, because Norway's state road authority says it is too heavy.

The vehicle has been parked unused in a garage in Oslo since mid-October.

Weighing in at around four tonnes because of armour plating and thick bullet proof windows, the car is twice as heavy as a standard BMW 760 model and 40 kilograms over the limit for registration by Norway's road authorities, a spokesman for Prime Minister Kjell Magne Bondevik said.

"We expect the problem will be solved in a week or two," Prime Minister Bondevik's spokesman Oiyvind Oestang told Reuters.

Making the car light enough for registration had meant cutting down on safety features, he said.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s997040.htm

[The JoJo]

TONY!!!!!!!!

[The JoJo]

Where have you been mate? Everything ok?


Looooooooooooong time no see. :)

[Tannin]

Hi all,

I'm back!

Been to ... er ... lots of places. Townsville, the Daintree (north of Cairns), Chillagoe, Karumba (on the Gulf of Carpentaria, near Normanton), Darwin and the Top End, The Macdonnell Ranges (west of Alice Springs), Coober Pedy, and various points in-between. Many thousands of photographs, of course.

Grand total of 13,607 kilometres (or 8455 miles in the old money).

Little blue car never missed a beat.

And JoJo! Married! Wow! Congratulations and my very best wishes.

[The JoJo]

Great to have you back Tony!

We're all waiting for a (minimum) three page review of your trip ;) !

Thanks everyone!

We'll arrive on Sunday in Bangkok, and Monday will be the big day.


So I'll probably be away starting on friday and then about two week forwards. So behave then, willya!? :mrgrn:

[Tannin]

Oh, it will be more than three pages, my friend. By the time you finish reading it, there will be a new little JoJo running around. Or at least crawling.

I've almost finished writing up October, still have November to go: for every day taking pictures, you need about two days sorting through the shots (I averaged about 600 shots a day), writing about the birds, the landscape, and anything else that seems relevant.

Guess I'll host it on redhill.net.au. Far too long to post here.

By the way, your wife-to-be is clearly a sensible woman. None of this old-fashioned take the man's name rubbish. I like her already. When you get to name the child time, may I suggest a simple, fair, and pleasing scheme? Here's an example.

Let's say Mr Pradeep has a sister and she and I meet, fall in love, and get married. (God forbid.) Further, let's suppose that we have children. (Perish the thought!)

(No offence, Mr Pradeep, I'm sure your sister (if you have one) is charming, but (you see), there are only two kinds of people on this earth: those that ought to get married, and those that ought not to get married. The key to a decent life (in my estimation) is working out which sort you are and not forgetting it!)

Anyway, we have two children and, naturally, we call them Bruce and Mary. Bruce's full name is Bruce Mercutio Tannin. Mary's full name is Mary Bananas Pradeep. Boys take the father's name, girls take the mother's name. Simple. Fair. Practical.

And pleasing, I think.

There you go, JoJo: your first domestic dispute resolved well in advance.

You may return the favour by reminding me at the apropriate moment, (should the situation ever arise), that I and the not marrying kind of person, and not to be a bloody idiot.

You, of course, like our friend Mr Pradeep of the imaginary sister, are the other sort. Long life and enjoy it together!

[jtr1962]

Welcome back, Tony. The place just hasn't been the same without you and your simian friend. I look forward to reading about your adventures. Were you able to find Tea a mate in your travels? If so, are you going to be best man?

[Tannin]

Hoolie Doolie! My simian friend!

I knew I forgot something!

[Mercutio]

Probably ditched her out back at the Tweed Coast. Tea probably likes the Tweed Coast.

Glad you're back, Tannin. This place isn't the same without you.

[Buck]

Welcome back Tony, I figured you'd be away until next year.

[CougTek]

Oh well, guess I'll have to share the playground again now that Tony is back.

I want the exclusive première of your article, Aussie friend, so that I can link it on the front page before it's old news to all the regulars.

...and welcome back.

[Pradeep]

Welcome back Tony future uncle to Bruce and in-law.

[Buck]

Besides writing his great novel, it will take Tony days to try and catch up with the many threads we've started during his absence. I wonder if Handy could get some stats on just how many threads and posts there have been since the old man went on his journey.

[EdwardK]

Congratulations JoJo!

Cheers,
Edward

[EdwardK]

Welcome back Tony!

BTW, you did not "pay off" the media people to keep quiet about a certain orangutan terrorizing humans along your holiday route, did you? :mrgrn:

Cheers,
Edward

[mubs]

Congrats, JoJo! Gee, when it rains it piurs! First Adcadet, then a surprise from pradeep, and now JoJo!

May your lives be filled with happiness, good heakth and prosperity!

[mubs]

Welcome back, Philosopher-in-Residence! You were sorely missed! :salut:

[ddrueding]

How on earth did I miss Tony's return? I've been egerly folowing this tread for some time now!

Welcome back! I look forward to seeing your "voice of reason" in all the apropriate places.... :mrgrn:

[Tannin]

And while I was gone, I see that I missed your arrival, David - an event of no small significance, and one that pleased me considerably.

(I get tired of arguing with Mercutio all the time. Now I can argue with you instead. :))

I must say, though, that Storage Forum just doesn't seem the same without Tea. I really miss her. I'm even thinking about running an ad in one of the Queensland newspapers, telling here to come on home by air and charge it all to my credit card.

But not right away: first I have to earn enough money to pay off some of the money she already spent on it before we parted, otherwise the bank will probably decline the transaction and I'll be in in even more trouble. Anyway, I'm not sure that she will ever come home. She likes it up there too much.

Sigh.

Meanwhile, I'm spending most of my time writing about the trip to make a sort of lavishly illustrated travel log on CD. It's been quite a while since I did much HTML coding and I'm making heavy weather of it. At one stage last night I nearly posted some code fragments here to ask Buck and the other SF gurus what I was doing wrong, but I think I'm on the right track with it now.

And then there are all the pictures to select and edit, and the text to expand an improve on. It will take quite a while, I think. In the back of my mind, I'm wondering if I should try to do a really good job of it and then take it to a publisher as a CD-based manuscript. People are mad on bird books and travel books and books with nice pictures in them, so why should I not do one of my own?

[flagreen]

Why not? Go for it Tannin, and welcome back. Any chance Tea could learn how to spell while she's gone?

[Tannin]

Hmmmm ... I doubt it. Tried to teach a wombat to fly lately?

Hey! I JUST REALISED!

I don't have to be polite to Tea anymore!

[Buck]

Hoolie Doolie! I just realized that Ballarat is 19 hours ahead of me! Here I am figuring out what I should eat for lunch, and Tony isn't even up for breakfast.

[ddrueding]

I also think your journey worthy of a published work. If you're going to crank out a simple version just for us anyway, might as well do it right and make the journey tax-deductable.

[Buck]

By the way Tannin, your present avatar is very nice. That is a very austere and regal pose for that bird of prey.

[Tannin]

I think he is a she, Buck. A very pretty Barking Owl she was too. I took lots of pictures of her, and she will undoubtedly appear over on the Bird Forum before too long, and in my trip report also.

Right now I seem to be utterly snowed under with various small but time-consuming tasks, so my apologies for not posting much. Among other things, I decided to take advantage of a quiet week at the office to paint a small part of the front of the shop (long overdue) and, as always happens, one thing is leading to another and the paiting job has got quite a bit bigger. I doubt that I'll get it finished before the weekend. (There goes Saturday ... sigh.)

If Tea was here, she could answer the telephone for me and help Kristi out in the workshop. Better yet, I could answer the telephone myself and Tea could paint the shop - unlike me, she isn't afraid of ladders, and those long Inspector Gadget arms of hers would be just the thing for reaching the more awkward corners. Might end up with a lot of paint on the footpath and a striped white and spotted green-on-orange ape, but paint wears of eventually.

Red Hill is hard work with just two of us!

[Buck]

I wonder, now that Tea is gone, will Tony Wilson show up on our forum?

[e_dawg]

Boy I've missed a lot!

Congratulations, Jojo! May you and your wife have a wonderful life together! Care to share a few details about your wife and how you met, etc? I'm sure we'd all like to know a bit about Mrs. Jojo :)

---------

Welcome back, Tony! When I visited SF in your absence, I could feel a little something was missing from the mix, especially since you have always been such a prolific (and good) writer. I am waiting for your wonderfully descriptive guide to Australia with baited breath.

[The JoJo]

Hi everyone,

I'm back. And married-
Everything went OK, we just didn't understand too much about what was happening as everything, speech and papers, where in Thai. :mrgrn:

It wen't quite smoothly, until 2 minutes before everything was set, when the computer they used crashed (guess what operating system it had (hint, it had scandisk on it ) ), and after trying to get it working everyone left for lunch! So we wen't back to the hotel, waited a few hours, and then back to finish the whole thing. Guess if we were nervous at the hotel!

That happened on the first of this month, on monday. We arrived in Bangkok on sunday, so we were a bit tired after that :).

A great vacation. And right now I hate my work and being back home. It's great to meet the people, but I really, REALLY want to get back to warm Thailand.

Pic's coming later...:)

[zx]

Congratulations JoJo! Best wishes!

[Pradeep]

Congrats Married JoJo!

BTW, why did they need a computer to get you guys married?

Definitely a climate change going from Scandinavian Winter to the tropics and back. My mum works in Bangkok and she's coming over here to visit us for Christmas. Hee hee, we just had a foot of snow, record for this time of the year.

[flagreen]

Congrats JoJo. I wish you and your wife many happy years together. Looking forward to seeing those pix soon!

[The JoJo]

Thanks everyone! I hope I can put some pics up tonight...

[Tannin]

Speaking of absences, Sol is back!

Sol was last seen disappearing off into the backblocks of South Australia, clutching an offer of employment in one hand an a credt card in the other.

He appeared here in Ballarat today, and was last seen leaving my shop clutching a 160GB Samsung drive in one hand and a credit card in the other.

He has spent the last three months working hard and driving huge distances, living in a hotel room with no air-conditioning and no internet access. I understand that he has learned to read quite a lot. :(

Next week, he gets to move into a house of his own, and will have ADSL broadband installed as soon as our meaga-wonderful telecoms quasi-monopoly can get off its arse and do something useful. :)

Also ....

Oh, excuse me. That was the phone. I have to go down to the police station now. Back in a little while. (I think.)

[The JoJo]

Police station????????

[ddrueding]

Life must be so much more interesting in Aus...

[flagreen]

Maybe the Coppers found Tea?

[Tannin]

Damnit, Flagreen, you are the smartest guy I know. How the hell did you guess that?

I got a call late last night from Senior Sgt Kennedy of the Frankston police. Was I the owner of a very fat orange-coloured orangutan?

"Fat? How fat?", I asked.

"Enormous", he said, "the biggest ape I've ever seen."

Hmmm ... I said it didn't sound very likely, but I'd pop down and see if I could help. Ahh - which station did you say it was again, Sgt Kennedy?

""Frankston", he said.

Frankston? Frankston?

Why on earth would Tea wind up in Frankston? And a little rotund she might be, but never actually fat. Nope, as I'd already guessed, it had to be some other ape - which was why I'd sort of promised to slip down to the station and help out. After all, all those years living and working with Tea must have taught me something. Perhaps I could translate or something. And who knows? Maybe it would be a relative of hers, or (better yet) an ape who might be able to help me find her.

But Frankston? No way. Frankston is on the other side of Melbourne from here, as a round trip, the best part of a six hour drive. There are limits to all things, and I'd just found mine.

So I told Sgt Kennedy "no" and got off the phone.

[Tannin]

Two hours later there was a knock on the door.

"Anthony Wilson Tannin?"

"Yes."

"We understand that you are the owner of a wild ape."

"Well, not exactly. You see ... "

"Look, son, it's like this. Either you nip down to Franskston and have a chat with Sgt Kennedy, possibly making a voluntary statement, or we take you in as an accessory before the fact."

That was a nice touch, calling me "son". The young copper at the door couldn't have been more than half my age.

Anyway, I got his drift. Three and a half hours later, after an inordinate amount of time stooging around the back streets of Frankston looking for the police station, I was there.

Sgt Kennedy had gone home. "Wait here" the officer behind the desk said. I waited.

And waited.

Half an hour later, they told me that the ape had been transferred to the Dandenong lockup, but that I could see him there, first thing in the morning. Seeing it was already after midnight, I figured the best thing to do was find a motel. I was dammned if I was going to drive all the way home again, only to come straight back again.

In the morning, I checked out and drove over to Dandenong. (That only takes a half hour or so.)

You know how you get a sort of picture of people that you've only met on the phone? Well, I expected Sgt Kennedy to be a big, thick-set copper with a paunch and of no determinable age. But he was nothing like that: he was tall and slim, with thinning blondish hair and about 30-something. He was actually quite a nice guy, once you got to know him.

We went down to the cells and there in 5B was the biggest ape I've ever seen. Not tall, but enormously fat; great rolls of belly like the Michelan Man, and a paunch that hung down so far that his bandy orange legs barely touched the ground. He had his back to me but I could see right away that it wasn't Tea. Possibly a relative, though. The pattern of the orange curls on his back looked somehow familiar.

[Tannin]

He turned around.

My jaw dropped.

"Tea!"

"Who did you expect? Quasimodo?"

"What the f*ck are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you to pay the man so we can go home, what does it look like?"

I couldn't get over how fat she was. I mean, not just tubby, I'm talking seriously fat.

The long and the short of it is that Tea has been charged with the theft of a quantity of fruit, but Sgt Kennedy said he would let her out and drop the charges so long as I agree to pay for the stolen property.

Tea denies everything and says it wasn't her fault.

Anyway, now I have to find $17025.80 to pay for all the bananas. I've scraped up $3000 so far, and Tea says she has about a thousand of her own, but we need another AU$13025.

Can you help me out, guys?

(Luckily, being an imaginary ape, we are allowed to pay using imaginary money. But I can't imagine $17,000 all on my own, so I'm going to need some help.)

[ddrueding]

I went though my imaginary sofa and came up with $420US...I'd send it to you but the post on 50lb. of change would be too much...

[Tannin]

Cool!

That's .. er ....

$3000 from me
$1000 of Tea's
US$420 from Dave, which is ... er ... about AU$600 (the exchange rate is not helping us here)

Grand total = $4600

Still required: $12,425.80

Come on guys, we can do this!

(I'll figure out how to deal with the transport issues later.)

PS: I think we need to act pretty promptly on this one, guys. It's not for Tea's sake - as far as I'm concerned, she can stay in there eating bread and water forever, which is about how long she will need to slim down to a reasonable size again - but for the sake of Sgt Kennedy and his workmates. I don't think they have ever had to deal with a talking ape before, and I can tell you, she is driving them crazy!

[CougTek]

...but for the sake of Sgt Kennedy and his workmates. I don't think they have ever had to deal with a talking ape before, and I can tell you, she is driving them crazy!
Good thing, I hate cops. Leave her slim down.

And all my imaginary money goes to my not-imaginary debts. Sorry.

[The JoJo]

I suddenly remembered having 500 imaginary euros lying around. You can have those...

[Mercutio]

Tannin's done a miscalculation. David's dollars are worth 1.33 Aussie ones, so David has really provided 559AUD.

Tea can of course have $1000 of my imaginary dollars as well. To make the math easy. :)

[fool]

I’m good for 800 imaginary guineas won when Wilco kicked, if you can stomach it. :wink:

[time]

I don't know why you think he'd be offended. Rugby may be a religion in New Zealand, but it's only a sport here.

More seriously, Tannin lives in a state that abhors rubgy, preferring instead to go absolutely bonkers over Australian Rules football. So it's probably more a case of "Jonny who?"

Actually, I'm surprised that NZ didn't declare a day of mourning after the mighty All Blacks choked yet again. Apparently their economy took a hit though ...

[fool]

The rugby was just by the by.
‘twas the maths to which I alluded. Which is such an insult that its only tannins near legendary magnanimity that made me doubt he’d take umbrage.

[Fushigi]

I can spare about $600ID for the cause. But only on the condition that Tea swear off bananas for a month.

[time]

I think it's sad that Tannin has to make up such a ridiculous story.

Clearly, Tea looks so fat because she is a fallen ape who is reaping what someone else sowed. She only stole the bananas because she was eating for two.

Some of the bananas being somewhat over-ripe, she was arrested for being under the influence. The police remembered prior episodes involving brandy and bananas all too well.

Fortunately, help is at hand through the auspices of Michael Jackson. His New Years Resolution is to like children, so he has offered to raise Tea's accident as his own. Although there's still the question of why there was Bubbles in Tannin's Tea.

[Tannin]

OK. Looking good!

Fool and Time, I am in fact an abberant Victorian. Put it down to my 100% Tasmanian blood or my formative years spent in the Territory. (Two years in the Territory should be enough to warp anyone.) I love Rugby Union! I took every possible opportunity to catch World Cup games during my trip, even organising myself in such a way as to spend a night in an Alice Springs motel (rather than in the proper bush) for the final. The week before, I was in a place where there was no TV, and we all trooped down to the nearest set, which was in a pub some miles away - it was packed to the rafters, standing room only, and the whole damn community watched the All Blacks getting hammered. Wonderful!

I was disappointed to see Wilco get that last shot, of course, but in the end, any other result would have been inappropriate. The Poms played magnificently, and although they faced superb opposition that never laid down and never gave in, if the Wallabies had got up we would all have had to admit that they stole it. It was fitting that the game went to extra time, and that the result hung in the balance all night long, but it was also fitting that the best team on the night won the day. In short, yup, we will take the 800 very generous guineas - which, if I remember correctly, adds up to 800 * 21 shillings = near enough to AU$2000!

On the other hand, I despise Rugby League. I'd rather watch gridiron than league, and rather watch two flies crawling up a wall than either.


Ahem.... To business....

$3000 from me
$1000 of Tea's
$560 from Dave (I'll work in Oz dollars)
$840 from JoJo (a rough mental conversion from his 500 Euros)
$1330 from the ever-generous Mercutio
$2000 from Fool. (A magnificent gift!)
$800 from Fushigi. I don't think that there will be any problem at all about the banana promise, my friend.

Grand total = $9530

Still required: $6494.20

I'm off to see Belinda and Kristi now. They are both very fond of Tea, so perhaps I can raise a little more from them.

[Mercutio]

I’m good for 800 imaginary guineas won when Wilco kicked, if you can stomach it. :wink:

What language is that sentence in? :)

[The Grammar Police]

English!

(As opposed to the degenerate tongue spoken on the other side of the pond and known as "American".)

Would you like me to translate?

[fool]

Mercutio,
Guinea =
a; Some place whose location I can’t remember right now. (South Pacific?)
b; An archaic British unit of currency worth, as tannin said, 21 shillings or 1.05 pounds sterling. If, at any point, anyone wishes to get a better understanding of the English you could do a lot worse than to google up our pre-decimal units of currency, read the list, and consider that we resisted the change to 1 pound equalling 100 pence because it was thought to be too confusing.

Wilco=
Johnny Wilkinson, England’s fly half. And therefore the chap that scored the points that won the cup, etc.(genuflection is permitted).

Tannin,
$1992.22 AUD according to XE.com
and the Australia vs. New Zealand semi-final was probably my favourite game of the tournament.(either that or the Australia vs. Ireland game at the end of the group stages, or New Zealand vs. Wales also at the end of the group stage.). And, hand on heart, I’ve got to say that, once England got past the South Africa in the groups they were fairly heavily favoured by the draw.

[time]

It's "Jonny" actually. Too bad his parents couldn't spell.

[e_dawg]

Tannin, the blank cheque's in the mail :)

[flagreen]

http://www.liv.asn.au/directory/firmsref/1421.html

[cquinn]

If its imaginary money you be needing, and I can imagine all
my debts to be assets... Then I can spot you $1000 US into the
pot ($1330 AUD) as long as try and get her some zpelling lezzonz
during her incarceration.

I'd offer some of our (suddenly) surplus beef for a crash Atkins diet,
but I fear she is already mad enough as it is.

[Tea]

Whoohoo!

I'm back!

I have promised to be good, but first I have a whole lot of people I have to thank.

[Tea]

I don't know how Im going to pay all this back guys, but I'm really grateful to you all. I think Tannin already told you that I ... er ... had to raise a little cash to cover my expenses. Well, anyway, I'd just like to say thankyou to Dave and JoJo and Mercutio and Fool and Fushigi and Belinda and cquinn and E_dawg and Kristi and Mutiah and the Soup Nazi. Oh, and Tannin too.

I'm a bit tired after the walk home, but I'll chat to you all tomorrow.

Thanks guys.

PS: Cquinn, my friend, I am going to be extra, extra careful with my spelling from now on.

PPS: Fushigi: Don't worry. I never want to see another banana again as long as I live!

[The JoJo]

Welcome back! :)

I trust the bartender will give a drink on the house for everyone, ;)

[Bartender]

Indeed, drinks on the house.

Welcome home Tea.

Now I can take down the Help Wanted sign, my helper and friend made it safely back. Whenever you're ready Tea, you can give me a hand with the bar. Although I must admit, things have been relatively quiet. Oh, we get enough customers through here, they're just not as rambunctious as they’ve been in the past. Tea, maybe you can do some PR work and get a couple of our old customers back. I miss having Groltz and James around.

[ddrueding]

Yes, welcome back! Though I'm a bit dissapointed you didn't come by for a visit...

[Buck]

Is the Dandenong lockup near the Metlink station at the end of Hammond?

[bahngeist]

Welcome back! :)

I trust the bartender will give a drink on the house for everyone, ;)

As long as you don't give Tea a banana daquiri (spelling?) :P

[Mercutio]

It's good to have to watch my step for sock puppet leavings again. :D

Welcome home, Tea.

[Bender]

Welcome back Tea! Good to have you back.


Indeed, drinks on the house.

Welcome home Tea.

Now I can take down the Help Wanted sign, my helper and friend made it safely back. Whenever you're ready Tea, you can give me a hand with the bar. Although I must admit, things have been relatively quiet. Oh, we get enough customers through here, they're just not as rambunctious as they’ve been in the past. Tea, maybe you can do some PR work and get a couple of our old customers back. I miss having Groltz and James around.

Hear hear Bartender. Actually, does anyone know whats happening with Groltz and James? Haven't heard from these 2 for quite some time :(

Cheers

[CougTek]

James is probably too busy with his new job at Cables&Wireless to visit us anymore while I think Groltz had issues with some of the positions certain of our members vocaled a few months ago. He at least wrote once about his disagreement with popular opinions expressed in the P&B in the past, so I guess that's why he left, hopefully only temporarily.

[Howell]

Groltz is contactable through PMs.

[Handruin]

I tried. But he doesn't seem to want to chat.

[Tea]

By the way, if anyone has noticed, I'm not here much of late. No, it's not because Flagreen was rude to Tannin in another thread. (Or was Tannin rude to Flagreen? Whatever. Personally, I hope it was the former. Apart from breakfast, I usually think that being rude to Tannin is the best possible way to start the day.)

Nope. It's because we have a major project in the works. Tannin, lord help him, is now webmaster of a community group wiki. Yeek! MediaWiki administration, php scripting, user permissions, MySQL - he is way over his head. (And loving it.)

This project, it is safe to presume, will continue to soak up masses of his free time. Right now, he is hopelessly enmeshed in doing the documentation. A lot of it can be borrowed from existing GFDL wikis and adapted to suit, but a good deal of it needs to be written from scratch. Big job.

But (with a little help from me) he is on top of it, at least so far.

Meanwhile, I'm not allowed to use the computer for more than 5 minutes a day.

sigh

[Handruin]

Sounds like you (er Tannin) will be busy for a while! I don't know how much you know of php/mysql, but the one book I bought helped me to get started for both of those including the understanding of functions, variables, and even some OO.

Begining PHP4 (http://www.wrox.com/books/0764543644.shtml)
Wrox

If you already know the PHP/MySQL basics, then skip this book.

Feel free to post scripts if you want/need help/comments on them. One the most frustrating things I found while learning PHP/MySQL was finding ways to combat specific battles. Reverse engineering other people's scripts to learn gets old very fast. (mostly tiring)

On a related note to being absent, I've not been around as much either. Laura and I have been on the hunt for a house now for several months. We found one a few weeks back and plan to close soon. Trying to manage the people we need to work with has been taking up good portions of my time. We almost bought a house prior to this one until our inspection told us to steer clear. (very bad well water) That was 2 months of work wasted at the final moments. (it took 5 weeks to even formulate the offer and get it accepted) The seller was a stubborn female dog who didn't want to spend a dime to make her house more sell-able. Oh well, now she's stuck with it.

[Tannin]

Thankyou Doug.

I'm going to need to learn lots! Sometime over the next few days I'm going to have to make time to slip down the street and take your advice at my local bookshop.

Funny thing, it never occured to me to buy a book! I buy books like an alcoholic buys beers, but this will be the first computer-related book I've bought in ... oh ... 10 years or so, I guess. (Why buy books when my friends at Storage Forum teach me all I need to know?)

Function, variables and OO I'm probably OK with - I think the basics I picked up in my Modula-2 days will suffice - but I know absolutely nothing about php or mySQL.

I have hosting through Arvixe (http://www.arvixe.com). Early days yet, but they seem excellent to me. Anyone here tried them?

The codebase I have to work with is MediaWiki. If anyone is interested I can post more details. Right now I'm using v 1.2.6, which still has certain stuff that should be in the css hardcoded into the scripts. That's probably been fixed in the latest 1.3 but I don't think 1.3 has settled down enough for me to want to use it yet.

So I'm learning a little php by the simple method of pawing through the code looking for hard coded HTML. I am certainly a long, long way of being competent in php, but I have at least got to the stage where I can usually work out which bits I can tinker with and which bits I need to leave alone!

I think some solid reading is called for.

For those interested, the site I'm working on is currently at http://www.ben.arvixe.com Later on, it will switch over to a long-term URL.

[Handruin]

If you've done any work with Perl, I think you may find that some of PHP shares a close relation to function functionality. The book I suggested was probably geared more to my liking because I had no clue about variables, functions, or any understanding of OO. Now I only have a partial clue, but it's better than no clue. If you alreay know functions, variables, and some OO, then you might find it to be a boring read (because it is simplistic).

If you haven't worked with things like GET and POST data, "cleaning" data, and includes, then it might be usefull. The book takes a little bit of everything and explains how each function plays a vital role to a very simple example. Keep in mind the book I recommend is a bit dated, so it misses some vital security concerns that I've only learned through reading numerous online sites. (those securirty issues may not have been known at the time the book was written)

One nice thing you may soon find is how easy it is to access data in a mysql database with php. Since I can never remember each function, I recommend looking up how each function works on www.php.net.

I also recommend trying Zend Studio 3.0 Client (http://www.zend.com/store/evaluation.php?pid=77&download=1). They offer a free evaluation for 21 days. Once the 21 day trial expires, you can resubmit for a "personal edition" license which reduces some of the functionality of their product, but it is still a decent free tool with a debugger, code coloring and completion. If you don't want to register on their site, I can send you my evaluation code by PM.

I don't know how ambitious your getting, but you might want to test your development locally. Personally I install my own apache/php/mysql setup on my home machine so that if my script causes an issue (which I can say it has many times) that it doesn't cause you downtime on your web hosting account. I don't open port 80, so it's not visible to anyone but myself.

I'll gladly try to pass along any tips I've found over the past couple years. It might not be much, but it could save you the headache of trying to find the answer elsewhere. I can also post some PHP functions that I've created which may/may not help you with your website. Let me know if you're interested.

[Tannin]

Nope. Far as I know, Pearl is a Janis Joplin album.

I just laid out $100 on PHP and MySQL Web Development by Luke Welling and Laura Thomson. It was the best-looking (and easily the most expensive) of the three PHP titles I found in a local bookshop. It's a massive great tome, but on very fast first glance, it seems readable and at a good level. I hope I don't discover that I'm in way over my head!

Anyway, I plan on going quiet for a few days while I try to absorb this thing. And also, while I wipe out my wiki and do a practice restore. I'd be pretty damn pissed off if I lost all my work at this stage. On the other hand, if I don't test it now and wait till I have a real disaster, I might lose 100 times as much data. Sometime over the weekend, I'll grit my teeth, and do a full restore.

If that works, then maybe I'll try my hand at upgrading the MediaWiki software from 1.2.4 to 1.3 beta 2.

(Or maybe I won't.)

Anyway, thanks for your help so far Doug (more useful already than you might imagine), and wish me luck!

[CougTek]

If your new book ends up being too hard to understand, maybe you'll have a better luck with this one (http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTitle/productCd-0764541668.html) ;-)

[Tannin]

Thanks Coug. Funny you should mention that one, it was one of the other two that I decided not to get in favour of this one. Reasons? In rough order of importance:

* I need to know PHP and MySQL (and doubtless the tricky bits of interfacing one to the other, which are more likely to be covered in a book about both than in two books, one about one and the other about the other).

* The PHP 5 thing put me off. PHP 5 is still in test status, and it's PHP 4 I'm working with. PHP 5 knowledge can come another day when I'm actually running it.

* I flicked through all three and all seemed to have the sort of stuff I need, but this, although the biggest and the heaviest by far, seemed at least as readable (looking at a few random pages) as the others.

* This one, although published by an American company, was actually written by two Australians - Victorians, no less! - and that seemed a better thing for this Australian to be buying. (In fact, they are on the staff at the same university where my sister teaches - not that that is likely to get me any special extra tuition!)

Why not some other one completely, such as Doug's Begining PHP4? Because these were the three I could lay my hands on today, without driving to Melbourme or waiting for a mail order.

So far, I am very happy with PHP and MySQL Web Development.

Mostly tonight, though, I have been learning how to set up a second wiki for testing purposes. All trial and error stuff, but I got it eventually, after a massive battle with SQL not letting me have root access. I now have MediaWiki 1.2.4 still happy as the main install, and 1.3 beta 2 on test.

For my next trick, I have to figure out how to back up and restore MySQL databases, and in particular, how to restore an existing 1.2.4 database to a new 1.3.x install.

But not tonight!

[Handruin]

For help with MySQL management, you might want to download and try phpMyAdmin (http://www.phpmyadmin.net/home_page/). This will allow you to view your MySQL databases through the web. I use it all the time, it's a very handy tool. It will allow you to import and export databases.

However, php is not a great way to backup/restore databases larger than a few MB. PHP has a default execution timeout. If your backup or restore take longer than the default execution timeout, then the script will hault. If you want to modify this parameter, it can be found in the php.ini file under the variable named "max_execution_time".

To backup a MySQL database, run the following via command line from the bin directory. (or if mysql is in the path settings, just run mysqldump)

mysqldump --add-drop-table -u[user_name] -p[password] [database_name] > [file_name(.extension)]



To restore a database:
mysql -u[user_name] -p[password] [database_name] < ./file_name(.extension)]

**Note the direction of the < or > when backing up a database. I always like to think of the symbol as pointer for the direction of the flow of data.

One other caution. The argument "--add-drop-table" applied to the backup will place a statement in the backup file above each table to "drop" each table in a given database with the same name during a restore. If you DO NOT use the "--add-drop-table", AND a table already exists, then the restore will not drop the current table and may halt.

If you're not sure, ALWAYS backup the database prior to restoring just in case the restore goes sour. I prefer to add the "--add-drop-table" argument so that I don't have to worry about dropping each table prior to restoring.

If you would like a script to help automate your backups, I can send you the modified version that Mercutio wrote for me when we started this site. The script does a backup, then compresses the file with the current date and time.

[Tea]

Tannin and I won't be around much, if at all, for the next 3 or 4 weeks, because we are heading off to points unknown with camera in hand.

Yippee!

We are taking a laptop, which has a modem, but probably won't be anywhere we can log in from very often.

Be good!

Tea, those words sound familiar.)

(Yes, Tannin. I copied them from last year and the start of the thread.)

(Why?)

(Because we are going again.)

(We are?)

[Buck]

Have fun and this time, let's see more of the pictures you take. You keep teasing us with great words about these excursions, but no pictures!!

[ddrueding]

Yes, definatly have a good time. I am most jealous.

[The JoJo]

I think we're all jealous! :)

Take care! Have fun! Watch out for all kinds of hazards!

And this time, as Buck said, we REALLY want to see some proof.... no pictures of your wonderfull trips!

If not, well start thinking your just enjoying yourself in some place with exotic dancers ;)

[RWIndiana]

:o


Have fun guys!

[Tea]

Thanks RW. Here a a few samples of the wonderful creatures we found.

http://www.redhill.net.au/gallery/Red-capped_Robin.jpg

http://www.redhill.net.au/gallery/mm1.jpg

WA has fantastic light! Only the centre has better light than outback WA. And WA has some amazing creatures. Not just birds. The insects are fantastic, the flora unbelivable, the geology full of interest, and this little fellow was so cute I wanted to take him home:

http://www.redhill.net.au/gallery/Numbat1.jpg

[Buck]

The old boy and young Miss Tea have been away from this forum for quite some time. They seem to be online as they've been updating their bird.net.au site - must be super busy and all that jazz.

[Mercutio]

I will be offline starting nowish until May 3rd, when a Comcast henchperson comes to bring me cable, between suckling goat and vestal virgin sacrifice-times. Then I shall have cable, internet and somewhat less soul than I have now.